Coping with a Husband with Dementia

DH has decided

2011-09-16T10:28:00.001-04:00

After the nerve block DH talked to our family doctor. They agreed that a permanent action be taken to make this never no longer function. DH went to bed immediately after his appointment. Depression. It was expected.

We wait until an appointment is set up with the thorastic surgeon and then a date for the surgery.

Please continue to pray for all those who need your prayers.

DH short term memory

2011-09-13T11:29:00.002-04:00

After all the things my DH has suffered, now the stomach pain that caused him to loose so much weight because he could not tolerate the stretching of his stomach has caused another symptom. He is having short term memory problems.

I expected muscle loss with the great loss of weight. I never really looked at all the possibilities. Now he has memory problems just like individuals with dementia.

We are on a Ferris wheel and there seems to be no getting off.

Please continue to pray for all families and caregivers of dementia patients. They need every prayer that you can send.

Maybe a final diagnosis

2011-08-18T10:12:00.002-04:00

The Spinal Cat Scan showed damage to the nerve at T-10. This nerve radiates around from the spine to the belly button.
We have been to see a spinal specialist. Another MRI and a nerve block are to be scheduled.

Please continue to pray.

I don't like it...my DH weighs less than I do

2011-08-12T09:40:00.002-04:00

With all the pain DH is going through he is unable to eat much and when he does there is always something left on the plate.

He has dropped over 50 pounds since October 15, 2010. It is only about 2 pounds per week...but this is not the right way to loose weight. His weight has been in muscles as the fat is all gone.

We are waiting for the doctor to call with an appointment for an MRI and an epidural. If I don't hear in the next 20 minutes I will be calling the doctor myself.

Keep praying. Even when I do not know who is praying for me it comforts me and helps me through the tough times.

Prayer for caregivers, individuals with long term illness and their families and friends.

Results from CT Angiogram

2011-07-21T14:07:00.003-04:00

The results showed no problems. Another test with no results down. Another test to go.

The next test is a CAT scan of his spine. Doctor is now looking at the spine and nerves to see if there is something in the spine that is radiating around to the stomach.

DH health is continuing it's downward cycle. Not enough food means not enough protein means the body starts using itself as energy. He is short and long term memory problems but they are not from dementia (in my unprofessional opinion).

We are still praying for a diagnosis.

Please continue all prayers for doctors, nurses, volunteers, caregivers, families and patients with dementia and undiagnosed diseases.

More useless test results

2011-07-18T14:52:00.002-04:00

DH got his results from the sonogram and xray. He has fatty liver which is not related to the stomach pain.

Our primary physician has talked to the gastroenterologist and the surgeon and they had suggested a CT Angiogram (Computed Tomography Angiogram). It is a detailed picture of the blood vessels that go the the heart, lung, kidneys among other organs. It is scheduled tomorrow morning.

DH is becoming more and more forgetful. Now the long term as well as the short term memories are not there. I still believe if he was not going through all the pain, tests etc. that this would not be an issue.

Please continue to pray.

Additional Tests

2011-07-08T11:24:00.002-04:00

Today DH had a sonogram and xray of the area in his stomach that has the severe pain. They didn't tell him not to eat before the tests so he may have to take them over again.

DH is getting close to giving up. The only thing keeping him on the road to a diagnosis is the knowledge that our GS (grandson) has just lost his Daddy and DH will now really have to be a large part in GS life. DH is the only adult over 21 in GS life. He has no uncles in the vicinity and his only cousin that is old enough to be a mentor is just starting out his adult life with a girl friend. I know that my SNIL (step nephew in law - SIL nephew) is a wonderful adult and will do all he can.

DH is still having moments of short term memory loss. I think it is 90% stress and 9% pain and 1% not listening.

Keep praying for all dementia patients, all hospice patients, doctors, nurses, aides and family, friends and caregivers. They need prayers more than most.

Thank you for all your prayers and the responses I have received from this blog. You will never know how much they mean to me!

From Oncologist to Gastroenterologist

2011-06-16T12:07:00.002-04:00

The oncologist confirmed that James does not have cancer! The Good News.

We now are back at the beginning of finding out what else he has. The oncologist is sending us to a gastroentrologist. The GI doctor has ordered 19 blood tests. The results will be available to us at our July 1 appointment.

We are feeling less and less in control of what is happening. DH is getting angry very easily and getting very angry with little cause.

Please pray.

Hemotologist/Oncologist Results

2011-06-10T11:35:00.003-04:00

The Monday office visit was a mess. The doctor did not have the right information with him when he entered the exam room and had to go back to his desk.

He had the pathologists report that indicated that this was not cancer. That was the good news. The pathologist also indicated that DH has Unicentric Castleman's Disease. This is rarely cancer. Usually up to 90 percent of patients that have had the single lymph node removed have all their symptoms go away. DH is in the other 10 percent. He is still in pain.

The not so good news is that additional tests are needed. The doctor's staff took a blood draw and scheduled a CAT scan.

The blood results for what ever tests were requested were given over the phone on Thursday. All test results normal.

The CAT scan was last night. We will get the results on Monday.

Wonder what miracle drug the doctor will have on Monday.

Please continue to pray.

Oncologist

2011-06-06T10:49:00.003-04:00

Today at 2:15 we see the oncologist. This is where we will get the full possibilities of treatment. Also, I hope a fuller explanation of exactly is going on in DH body and the short and long term expectations.

DH is grumpy today. That does not bod well for the doctor. Hope he has a good sense of timing and goes along with DH and his moods.

I am scared, hopeful and a realist at heart.

Please pray for all dementia and cancer patients. Pray for their caregivers, family and friends as they walk this long trail.

Surgery Results

2011-06-03T09:34:00.001-04:00

The results from the May 23rd surgery are in. DH has Castleman's Disease. It is a disease of the lymph nodes. We do not have the exact variety of it. Both have different treatments. Our primary care physician who called with the diagnosis said it was cancer. The is the worse form of Castleman's Disease. DH is beside himself and doesn't know what he is feeling. I am trying to see the best side of things.

I am not a Polyanna by any means, but I try to always see the silver linning.

Please continue to pray for all of use.

I keep seeing what I don't want to see

2011-06-01T11:07:00.001-04:00

Recently I have seen symptoms of a return of demetia. Short term memory is sporadic and questions are asked more than twice. Often the answer after the question is answered is okay I remember now. Some times after the question is answered a look of bewilderment crosses DH face and he says he doesn't remember the answer at all.

Please pray for all dementia patients, caregivers and family members.

Unexpected wonderful news

2011-05-27T09:35:00.002-04:00

DH shared with me this morning that his blood sugar readings in the morning have stabilized to his normal before he became insulin dependant in early March. WOO HOO!

This is just since the enlarged lymph node has been removed.

I wonder what other wonderful news we will be getting in the new two weeks.

Please pray for good results and continue to pray for all caregivers, families and dementia patients and long term illness patients. Prayers do make our lives easier and sometimes He grants a miracle along the way.

Surgery May 23, 2011

2011-05-25T14:14:00.002-04:00

DH had a lymph node removed Monday. What is normally the size of a pea was the size of a walnut. The surgeon removed it totally and it will take two weeks to get the results. DH is in a great deal of pain. I do not know if this is post op pain and the symptom pain that has been getting worse. The surgeon told me that the lymph nodes could very well be the cause of the symptom pain.

Now we wait for the results.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their caregivers, family and friends. Pray also for those who are in poor health and for their caregivers, family and friends.

Thank you.

Health issues

2011-05-20T10:29:00.001-04:00

DH has been having level 10 pain in his gut. Monday he is scheduled for exploratory surgery. Hope that they find the cause of this pain. It started in October. He has seen a surgeon, gastroentrologist and oncologist. A 2nd surgeon opinion and surgery has been scheduled.

Please pray for DH. He fears the worst.

Results of Second Biopsy

2010-11-05T12:29:00.002-04:00

Benign.

Now what.

We don't know why the lymph nodes are enlarged.
We don't know why he has nausea after eating.
We don't know why he has no appetite.
We don't know what is causing the ridge from his belly button up that extends 2 inches from it's norm.

We do know that he does not have an infection.
We do know that the EGD (ie run a scope down the throat into the stomach) only found a small hiatal hernia.
We do know that something is wrong.

Now another appointment with the surgeon and options that need to be explored.

Please continue to pray for all cancer and dementia patients, their families and caregivers.

Second lymph node removed

2010-11-03T08:27:00.002-04:00

The surgeon removed a second lymph node from DH left underarm yesterday. He also did an endoscopy of the stomach and esophagus. There was a large swelling under the original surgery and he removed lymph fluid.

The endoscopy revealed a small hiatal hernia and nothing else. The second lymph node did not have any external signs other than it was enlarged as the first one. We will get the results Friday morning.

DH also had the triple culture test of his blood. They checked the culture at 24, 48 and 72 hours and there is no infection. We are ruling one thing out at a time.

Please continue to pray for cancer and dementia patients and their caregivers, families and friends.

Bless you today and every day.

Today is Friday...

2010-10-29T12:45:00.002-04:00

It seems that 1 week can be forever. Tuesday is DH outpatient surgery and we will get the results next Thursday or Friday. It seems to be an eternity. The doctors are so certain that DH has cancer. So far they have not been able to prove anything. I am sublimating all my worry in my work and my crafts and reading gentle books. I do not know what else to do.

Of course I have turned my worry and concern over to God (my choice of a high power) but at the same time there is an empty feeling where the worry should be. I do not know how to fill the empty place. I know you would say fill it with God. I am trying.

Please keep praying for all cancer and dementia patients, their caregivers, families and friends. Your prayers make our lives easier to handle. God Bless.

Results of surgery

2010-10-28T10:28:00.002-04:00

DH had a lymph node removed from his groin on Monday, October 18. The biopsy results were benign.

The surgeon and our primary doctor still believe that cancer is present so a second surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, November 2 to remove a lymph node from his right arm pit. We will probably hear the results of the biopsy on Thursday or Friday.

DH is not sure whether to be worried or not. I did all the worrying last time. This time I will leave it in God's hands. Having been through it once, I know what my options are.

Last night DH told me that if the biopsy came back positive for cancer he was not going to go through chemotherapy. "What have I got to live for?" was his basis for making this decision. He no longer hunts, rides motorcycles or scuba dives. He has no other hobbies and is bored with life.

I cannot argue with his logic or the results of it. Since lymphoma is so easily curred or at least put into remission with chemotherapy I do not understand his decision, but will abide with it when the time comes.

Please keep praying for all caregivers, dementia and cancer patients and their friends and family as they pass through the various emotions that go with these diseases.

God bless.

It is not a hernia

2010-10-19T12:02:00.003-04:00

The Cat Scan returns indicated no hernia.

However, the lymph nodes along the left side from the groin up were enlarged. Only the pelvic and lower body were scanned.

Monday, October 18 DH had a lymph node removed and it is being biopsied as we speak. Results should be available Wednesday or Thursday.

The doctor is talking about oncologists appointment this week.

Please continue to pray for all caregivers, dementia patients and families and friends of both.

Antibiotics

2010-10-12T11:00:00.003-04:00

After my call to our primary care physician a script was phoned in to the pharmacy for DH. I don't know if it is making any difference.

Yesterday I offered to make him his favorite mac and cheese dinner. 10 minutes later while the macaroni was cooking he asked if I had finished his sandwich for supper. Now this is really a short term memory problem.

If this keeps up I will have to put DH back on the Namenda, with doctor's approval, and see if it helps. Something is going on here and I cannot put my finger one it.

Tomorrow we see the surgeon for the results of the Cat Scan. It was of the abdomen and pelvic area. Then we will take the next step.

The technical term for the bulge in the front of DH belly is Diastasis Recti which is a separation between the left and right of the rectus abdominis muscle. It looks like a ridge, which runs down the middle of the belly area. This separation can cause lower back problems. The outer-most abdominal muscle that separates is the support system for the back. When it separates, it weakens the support system for the organs in the front and weakens the support system for the back causing low back problems.

Surgery may be needed if a hernia develops that becomes trapped in the space between the muscles. In general complications only result when a hernia develops. Unfortunately operations have a fairly high failure rate over time.

Exercise may help improve the condition. An exercise called the Tupler technique exercise is used. It exercises the transverse muscle and the recti muscle at the same time.

Also a splint, which is a long scarf-like piece of fabric will pull the muscle sides closer together. An abdominal binder could help ease the pain and prevent additional damage when doing especially strenuous activities.

The Cat Scan will show if a hernia is present.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families and caregivers.

Are we going down the same track as the last two Autumns?

2010-10-07T11:27:00.003-04:00

Today I called our primary care physician. James is still having short term memory problems, is sleepy, has hot and cold sweats, is coughing slightly and has vertigo issues. These are the same symptoms as in October, 2008.

I am certain that these symptoms which were diagnosed as dementia the first time are not dementia! I believe that James is fighting an infection that is causing the symptoms. I hope our doctor will see the same progression and follow some type of testing to rule out a repeat of 2008.

James saw the surgeon yesterday and he discovered a lymph node that was enlarged. This can be caused by infection or cancer. It was the final trigger for my call to our doctor. Also, the hernia is not a hernia. It is Diastasis recti.

Please pray for all caregivers, dementia patients and their extended families.

Thank you.

Oh, not again

2010-09-22T11:21:00.001-04:00

DH is starting to show signs of short term memory loss. I cannot believe that this is happening again. I need to talk to his doctor about it...but it looks like DH will be having surgery shortly and we don't need two problems at the same time.

It is so hard to be a caregiver to someone who does not realize that they are presenting symptoms like this. It is cruel to point it out, but there is a catch 22 if you don't mention the problem and then they remember that they already knew it.

Pray for all caregivers and families of dementia patients. Thank you.

Confusion

2010-04-19T10:38:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend DH had trouble figuring what day of the week it was.

Also, after we had discussed the menu for dinner he asked me how the hot dogs were doing and I wasn't making hot dogs I was making nachos.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers and family and friends.

Confusion

2010-02-17T09:38:00.003-05:00

This morning on the way to work I told DH I was looking forward to my vacation day tomorrow. He looked at me like "do I know about this?". I told him I was taking a class at my local quilt shop. He just got that man look that says there she goes again.

Just the same, he should have had a reaction that showed that he didn't remember me telling him about it. Because I didn't tell him about it. I wasn't sure how to bring it up in conversation.

Contrary to logic I wished he had said something to indicate that I hadn't told him yet.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their friends, family and caregivers.

Still small memory episodes

2010-02-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

Every evening when I get home from work DH asks what is for supper. Last night I told him we were having a pork roast. I started the roast while DH was snoozing through the even news. DH woke up and asked again what are we having for supper.

Although this seems minor, it is still a concern. It is not the first time this question repeating circumstance has happened.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers, families and friends. Also pray for the doctor's and nurses who care for dementia patients.

More short term forgetfulness

2010-02-01T10:40:00.002-05:00

We are back to a two car family. I have the choice of the Buick or the Mercury. The Mercury has a heater for the winter that plugs in to keep the oil and engine warm. Yesterday DH reminded me four times that if I took the Mercury to work today I would have to unplug it before I drove it. This morning he reminded me a fifth time.

I think he is aware of what is happening. Last night a medium sized fight of words broke out. He has been so stable with his temper for the last two months. I don't know if this is a sign of frustration.

Until I have sufficient information I am not going to confide in the doctor about what I am thinking. More observation is needed between then and now.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their caregivers and extended family and friends.

I hope that what I see isn't

2010-01-25T09:25:00.003-05:00

DH is starting to show very tiny signs that he may have Dementia. We went through this before and it was no fun. We thought that the diagnosis was wrong because of the severe staph infection. He has been off his Namenda since October 28, 2009.

The tiny symptoms started during January. I don't think he is aware of it. Somehow I need to start a journal at home and note down each time without his being aware.

This is a total set back and I am depressed about it.

Keep praying for all dementia patients, their caregivers, family and friends.

Revelation

2009-12-23T09:50:00.002-05:00

I have realized that the various hospitalizations that DH has experienced over the last two and a half years has played havoc with his memory. Several times lately when I say something about a plan that has been made and discussed with him he replies "It's nice you finely told me about this". It is more irritating that anything else. BUT...it may be a symptom that I need to watch.

DH is off all of his medication for dementia. The neurologist reminded me that I should look for symptoms and I think this may be one of them. As soon as DH is reminded he remembers that he already knows. The look on his face is one of pain.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families, friends and caregivers. They need all the prayers that they can get!

Recovering

2009-12-04T09:43:00.002-05:00

DH has been home from the hospital for a week and a half. He is very worried that this will happen again. He is having memory issues. We are still adjusting his medications from what the hospital physician set up to what he really needs. It is a daily or weekly process.

We are must closer than before. Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. This time around he didn't spend a lot of recovery in rehab and therefore we are recovering together. This is very special in our marriage. I think we have taken a major step forward and it feels good.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families and friends and their care givers. They need all the prayers we can make.

We just spent another weekend in the hospital

2009-11-17T11:32:00.002-05:00

DH collapsed Thursday while in a local auto repair shop. He had a temperature of 103.7 and his blood sugar count was 47. He was rushed to the hospital and put into intensive care. He was very combative and between trying to sit up and get out of bed they had to restrain him. Friday he managed to pull out all of the IV ports so they had to install a pic line.

He doesn't remember much until Sunday morning. They moved him from ICU to a semi-private room late Monday evening.

He wants to come home. He called earlier and said they may send him home today. They still are not sure what caused the whole thing. I think it was like last October when he had a massive infection that went undiagnosed. This lead to his blood sugar doing amazing things and ended up with him in a diabetic coma. I have already talked to our family doctor and suggested that we need to keep an eye open for future infections. Either test him regularly or just put him on a broad spectrum very intense antibiotic.
Yesterday the doctor in ICU told DH that he had almost died. Dear doctor did not give much information about that statement and I am not really happy about that.

The doctor this morning said that he thought DH had a seizure. We will see what the future brings.

One thing I do know is that we are not leaving the hospital until we have total copies of all the doctor and nurse notes as well as the results of all the tests. This will go to our family doctor to be available when (God forbid) we need them in the future.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended network of friends, family and care givers.

Doctor Releases DH

2009-11-03T15:24:00.002-05:00

We had a visit with the neurologist last Wednesday. He said to stop all Namenda. But he also said not to throw it away for a while to see if it truly is not needed.

DH is grumpy and still himself. I see no signs of dementia at all.

He keeps telling everyone that he never had dementia. He is correct as far as that goes. He had all the symptoms and failed all the dementia tests that were given to him. He was literally a basket case a year ago. He still doesn't remember things that happened while he was so ill. It is hard to believe that a Staph infection can cause so much damage and give such strange symptoms. We are lucky he is still alive.

I may not have any updates for some time on this blog.

Please keep praying for all patients who are diagnosed with dementia, for their families and caregivers. They need these prayers from moment to moment.

Another Infection

2009-09-22T15:23:00.002-04:00

DH is on antibiotics again. His symptoms are lack of appetite, sleepiness, lack of energy and a horrible temper. He is still on 1 Namenda per day. I don't know what to do! He is showing the same symptoms from January, 2008. If it is just the staph infection, we can deal with it. If it is something more I don't know how much strength I have left.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends. We really need it!

Maybe it's not dementia

2009-08-18T12:31:00.002-04:00

Over and over DH says he does not have dementia.

The neurologist said to take him to 1/2 the dose of Namenda. Since the change there has been no change in his memory. No more and no less.

DH saw his psychologist last week. I was present. The doctor gave DH the standard 30 question test for dementia. He passed 28 out of 30. He had the wrong month and couldn't remember the third item in a list of words. I passed 29 out of 30. I couldn't remember the third item in a list of words. The psychologist strongly feels that the staff infection was messing with DH brain and cause symptoms that everyone took to be dementia.

We go back to the neurologist in three months (sometime in October) and then we will see if he is willing to stop the Namenda entirely.

It is a waiting game, but the results could be fantastic. I refuse to get my hopes up. It is very hard not to.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their extended families and friends and their caregivers. You have no idea how these prayers help.

After Doctor's Visit

2009-08-04T12:38:00.002-04:00

We visited DH neurologist and he said to cut the Namenda back to once a day. I did pills Sunday and cut the Namenda to morning only. Only time will tell if this makes a difference or not. I will have to be most observant of behaviours.

Otherwise everything is status quo. No real changes other than DH trying to force me to do things that are not budget wise and me saying no. If you are a yes person then you know exactly how I feel. Saying no to someone you love is heart breaking.

Please keep praying. We all need your prayers.

Update

2009-07-14T12:57:00.003-04:00

DH had a very bad time with post surgical pain last night. I have never seen him deal with so much pain.

Today he had an appointment with the nurse practitioner that works for our primary care physician. The outcome was that DH has to return to psychological therapy. Right now I am waiting for the therapist to call back and say she will see him after such a long absence. I expressed the urgency. I hope she really understands it.

This morning DH thanked me for helping him through the pain episode. That was a first. He usually doesn't say thank you for anything. He was brought up to know what things he is supposed to do and not to expect any (and I do mean ANY) recognition for what he has done. What a miserable childhood!

I am doing better. No more wanting to run away, but the idea is still tempting.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers, family and friends.

Is DH loosing his mind or just lying?

2009-07-11T08:34:00.002-04:00

DH has been impossible this morning. He claims that he asked twice yesterday evening to drive the Mercury to a sleep study appointment. Initially I had planned to do some shopping while he was "sleeping", but decided to do something else instead. I do not remember him asking for the car at all.

Is he delusional? Is he lying? I don't know, but the day started off with a bang when he got home and started yelling.

I am at work now. I want to run away from home. I don't want to do this any more. I want a day of peace and quiet where I can do the things that need to be done without him constantly yelling, nagging or making disparaging comments.

How am I supposed to hold down a full time job and do things around the house with this kind of atmosphere? I have my own health problems and when they flare up is the time DH always acts the worse. It is like he has to have the attention while I am the one who needs the peace. I wish my mother was still alive. I could cry on her shoulder for hours right now.

Have you ever wanted to do something but you didn't have the proper tools for the project? Last night I wanted to paint the inside of the hall closet. I am in the process of changing it from a clothes closet to a pantry. I found the paint. I had old newspapers to cover the floor. All I could find was a 1" paint brush. Do you have any idea how long it takes to paint the three walls of a 36X24 closet? I was at the task for almost three hours. The wallboard had never been painted since the house was built and soaked up so much paint that you could hear it sighing with relief. This morning it looks good. But to have the pleasure of a task done well was taken from me by a man who only cares about his self and it is destroying me.

I have no support group; no friends who care about me and the rest of my family is totally in denial. Now where do I go?

Please pray for me. I really need it bad. Thank you, K

Toilet Update

2009-07-02T11:35:00.003-04:00

I got home from work last night so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The toilet water had dropped down to a good level. By gravity? DH says that he did not dip out any water. However, the container that we have used in the past was next to the toiled. Strange how things happen but DH denies them.

Now to a three day weekend. Hope that I can control my temper and get some things done around the house.

Please keep praying.

Bleach

2009-07-01T09:04:00.002-04:00

We have a clogged toilet. Not an exciting piece of news. I have been trying to fix it with a plumber's snake and plunger. Last night I started working on it again and surprise it had some type of bleach product in it. DH claims that he didn't put anything in the toilet. Well, I don't believe him.

Tonight I will try to dip out all of the fluid and start over with gloves on. If this doesn't work I will have to call the plumber again. How much fun.

We have an appointment coming up with the dementia doctor. This will be on my list of things to talk about. DH still claims that he does not have dementia. I am going to suggest that he stop taking the Namenda. We will see what the doctor has to say about this.

Keep praying for all of us. We need it!

Thank you

2009-06-25T10:08:00.005-04:00

The comment on the previous blog was a much needed reminder. As spouse and caregiver it is very easy to get angry at DH when the symptoms of his illnes frustrate me. Another blogger suggested I go into a different room and count to 10 or 100 or what ever I need so that I can be supportive when my DH needs help.

Thank you dear friend.

DH was up to his old tricks last night. The was a movie that I wanted to watch and he said he had already seen it and didn't want to watch it. I really wanted to see it and didn't change the TV channel. DH got angry and stomped out of the living room and went to bed. That was fine with me. I read until 1:45 am and then went to bed. This morning I am exhausted, but working as best I can. Before I left for work I told DH that if it happened in the future I would leave the living room and watch what I wanted on a different TV. This kills three birds with one stone. 1) I get to watch what I want. 2) He cannot get angry with me and flounce out of the living room. 3) I won't get angry at him by exiting the room and watching the program of my choice. This is the best of all worlds. We are both in a win/win situation. Why oh why didn't I think of this before?????

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families, friends and caregivers. I really need it and I know that they do too.

Here we go again

2009-06-24T08:11:00.002-04:00

I use this blog to keep track of my DH dementia symptoms. It seems we are starting down that slippery slope again. Last night he was having problems signing on to the internet with his computer. He has to connect via Sprint before starting Internet Explorer, but he wanted to do it the opposite way. He insisted that it was the correct way and he had always done it so.

My difficulty is not reacting with love, understanding and compassion. I get so experated with him that my voice starts yelling when my heart and mind tell me not to. What a visicous circle.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

Oh Dear and Alas

2009-06-22T14:28:00.003-04:00

When talking to DH a week ago we were discussing the inheritance that I got from my father after he passed away. We used the money to purchase a new furnace, replace the shingles on the roof of the house and garage and to buy a security system. DH did not remember anything about the inheritance or how we had paid for these things.

Then yesterday DH told me that when he got home from visiting his mom the locks on the front door were different. We have gotten in the habit of locking them a different way in the last few months and they were locked the opposite of our current method. Then he could not find a special key that he had in his wallet, carefully placed so that it couldn't fall out. Oh dear, here we go again. Not a good thing.

Otherwise he is alert and aware. He does not appear to be having any major memory problems. That is God's blessing.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers, family and friends.

Update

2009-06-16T11:18:00.002-04:00

DH had reverse shoulder replacement on June 9. He was home after one night in the hospital and is recovering as well as can be expected. The pain is greater than he had thought it would be.

DH is still visiting his mother daily. I have been taking him since his surgery, but today I think he is going to sneak out and drive himself to his mother's. It is all side streets and less than one mile. I hope I have not given him a choice that he should not make. He is stubborn and wants to be independent. I cannot blame him for that.

The surgery did not worsen the dementia symptoms. That is one issue that I was worried about and thank God that it didn't happen.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their families and friends and their caregivers.

Changes for the better

2009-06-03T08:58:00.002-04:00

After my last post I had resigned myself to letting DH go. Then what I will call a miracle happened. Due to some personal events that happened in DH life he has decided that he does want to live. He will do everything to keep himself healthy and if he starts getting sick he will pursue it. He has seen the doctor about his sleepiness and had another sleep study. They feel that they have ruled out an infection at this time.

DH is still adamant that if he is very ill no extreme measures will be taken to keep him alive. At the same time he is going to make sure that he takes care of himself. BIG hooray!

This is the best news in a very long time. We have a plan of action that does not involve letting him get ill again and then dieing. This is real progress for a very stubborn man.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their families and friends and caregivers. Bless you.

Announcement from DH

2009-05-18T10:25:00.003-04:00

Yesterday DH announced that no matter what I am not to allow the doctor's to prolong his life if he becomes ill again. This is not the first time that he has said this. It may be very hard if my MIL is still alive, but I will honor his wishes. He does not enjoy life at this time because he is so restricted in what he can do. I understand this, but my MIL and I have both told him to get a hobby. He is unable to do this. He does not want to learn a new occupation that would turn into a hobby.

I must honor his wishes. He thinks this will make life better for me. I don't think he remembers the loss when his former wife Dona passed away. I remember the loss of my first husband. I do not want to be a widow again.

I am at a loss for words.

Please continue to pray.

We continue on the path

2009-05-15T14:46:00.002-04:00

DH was asking me a question and I asked if he remembered asking me the same question and what the answer was. He had no idea so I repeated my answer. It was like a light bulb. He remembered as soon as he heard the answer. Go figure. LOL

DH has been working on the vegetable garden this week. He has 1/2 of it tilled up. That may be the only part planted this month. We have rainy days scheduled for the next three and then (of course) the weekdays next week will be sunny and fine. I cannot take a day off work to plant tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers. It will have to be on the weekend or after a long day at work.

Over all DH is doing well. He is pretty even with few angry moments. He is sleeping semi-well. He should be using his CPAP, but the straps give him a horrible headache. He has tried a new "mask" with a bite-plain, but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick on the sleep apnea.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their extended families and caregivers as they need all the prayers we can get.

Short Term Memory

2009-05-07T12:21:00.002-04:00

DH had another short term memory lapse last night. One per day is not at all bad, but it was a question he had asked and I had already answered.

One day at a time. I am going to start to use this blog as a journal to keep track of DH health. This way I have a permanent record.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their extended families and caregivers. Prayers do make a difference!

Another Step

2009-05-05T12:38:00.003-04:00

Today I was talking to my DH Worker's Comp lawyer. When I relayed the information to DH I had to take it to the simplest terms so that he would understand. He still cannot distinguish between BWC and SSD. So I call them Ohio money and Federal money. That he understands.

Looks like another surgery is going to be approved by BWC. DH will have a reverse shoulder replacement. It's like any joint replacement but this time the ball will not be at the end of the arm, but at the end of the shoulder. It will replace the rotator cuff that has deteriorated with arthritis. Fun time! We never know how DH will respond to surgery, but it has to be done.

I am trying to get my act back together. So many things to do and so little time. I almost wish it was the reverse, except I get bored so easily. LOL

Thank you for all your prayers and please keep all dementia patients on your prayer list.

May 7, 2009. Addition to above. When I got home from work he asked again about the difference between SSD and BWC. For some reason he is unable to distinguish between the two.

Short Term Memory

2009-05-04T14:47:00.002-04:00

DH is starting to have more frequent short term memory problems. Yesterday was our Grandson's First Communion. While GS was opening presents, DH asked if we had gotten a card. We had stopped just for a card on the way to the church and he had signed it.

Much as I hate to admit it I think the journal is going to have to come out again. This is a bittersweet walk and it is full of wonder and fear.

God bless you and please keep praying.

A very successful trip

2009-04-21T12:27:00.004-04:00

We had a great time in Orlando.

GS had his first Magic Kingdom experience, Epcot experience, Discovery Cove with dolphin encounter experience, Disney Hollywood experience, Sea World experience and Blizzard Beach experience. I need to get my photos into my blogs so that I can share them...but you should have seen the smile on this little boy when that dolphin took off swimming with the two of them!

DH rented a scooter to get around Walt Disney World and walked with his brace at Gatorland. He rented a Harley Davidson MC and had a blast. I didn't have the time to ride with him, but that's another story.

I spent so many hours snorkeling at Discovery Cover that I ended up twisting my neck and the next day had to deal with some vertigo. It's all gone now. The memories of snorkeling with the fish and manta rays (barbs removed) will always be with me.

DH is having more short term memory lapses. I will have to start up a diary so that I can keep track of them. They are minor and do not scare me, but they are increasing. It is to be expected and I am not having the difficulties that I had with it the first time through. This is much more gradual.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends as they deal with the issues of this disease.

24 hours and we leave for Orlando

2009-04-08T10:39:00.003-04:00

Our big vacation starts Thursday when we leave for Orlando, FL for a full family vacation. DH, our daughter, our son-in-law and grandson (O and me too) are going to earn our Mickey Mouse ears. I haven't had a set since the original Mickey Mouse Club was on TV in the 1950's. Oh, dear, did I give my generational age away?

DH is still having a great deal of clarity. It's like 2008 never happened. Well almost. There are still a few occasions of short term memory lapse, but some of them are literally just a oops I forget that and not a I don't remember that at all.

He still believes that he is not a dementia patient, but will not stop taking the Namenda to test his belief. Thank God for that!

Cannot wait to get where it is warm. It snowed here yesterday! The ground was warm enough that it melted, but still snow in April.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and thank you for your prayers.

Continuing education

2009-03-26T08:22:00.002-04:00

Tonight is DH second class for conceal to carry permit. I know that this is doing good for him. Not in the sense that it is curring his dementia. I know that dementia is a progressive disease and it will not reverse. However, he has had a migraine for almost six weeks. The migraine is going away. Whether it is because the doctor's have found a medicine that works or that he is doing something that makes him happy, the migraine is being concurred.

This is a man who has no hobbies. He collects guns. He loves scuba diving (too expensive). He loves motorcycles (again too expensive when he constantly wants to upgrade). At home and in the evening he has nothing to do. I read, quilt, use my computer for quilt design and yes I even play solitaire on the computer. I do not like sitting still and doing nothing. In many ways he is the same, but he never picked up something that can be done in the quiet of his own home.

I saw the testimony of Sargent Shriver's daughter Maria Shriver Swartzenegger about Alzheimer's disease and it really hit home. Here is a man that was a major player in the Kennedy years, a vice presidental candidate and now he can remember to go to mass and say his rosary, but he does not recognize his daughter. All dementia patients slowly go backwards in their lives. They loose the short term memories and then the mid-term memories, but continue to remember the childhood things. What a loss we all share.

Please keep praying. It helps us all.

Another Care Giver's Concern

2009-03-25T12:15:00.002-04:00

A fellow care giver to a dementia patient commented on my blog yesterday. I have published her comment.

She has some very good insight to the problems that may arise if DH does get his conceal to carry permit. (For those of you who live outside of the U.S. we are not permitted to carry a concealed weapon at any time. If you have a gun in your car it must be unloaded and the ammunition must be in a separate compartment of the vehicle such as the trunk.) Once a class has been take and a test using the pistol that will be the weapon of choice for concealment has been taken and past a very thorough back ground check by the county sheriff's office and the FBI is done. If any part of this procedure shows that a person should not have the permit it will not be issued.

Last night was DH first class. There were a broad range of students including two ladies in their 70's and several different age groups. Some had never held a pistol let alone fired it. The first class was a discussion of a pistol and the instructor was the only one with one in his possession. He demonstrated how to load, unload and fire the pistol. Other areas were discussed and then a written exam was given.

Thursday evening the class is scheduled to discuss the laws about all firearms and specifically the conceal to carry permit. Another written exam will be given.

This coming Saturday there will be a firring range test with each individual using the weapon that they have purchased. This will be the final exam.

After passing the test a second application is filed with the sheriffs office and an interview will be taken. It will be at least 45 days after the interview before a decision will be issued whether or not DH will receive his permit.

Having said all that I must admit that at this time DH is safe with fire arms. He was raised on a farm and hunted squirrels, rabbits and other for the kitchen pot animals as well as animals that were destructive on the farm. His knowledge of firearms is extensive and he is very careful.

The future may bring about a change in the above and at that time I will probably have to make arrangements that DH be reexamined to retain his permit. It also may be necessary to remove all firearms from the residence. This will be difficult, but my reader is very accurate when she indicates that the dementia patient and all those around could be in peril.

I truly appreciate her comments and any others that will help me, DH and other care givers or dementia patients deal with their current situation and future needs.

Please keep on praying. It is the only thing that will keep care giver's sane and give the dementia patient the peace that is needed. God bless you all.

DH and his goals

2009-03-24T08:05:00.002-04:00

DH has set a goal for himself that 15 months ago would never have been possible. I know that you will gasp and think that this is unbelievable, but it is something that he has wanted for years and his mind is clear enough (now) that it is a possibility. DH is starting classes tonight for his conceal to carry permit. Yes, he will take classes so that he can carry a firearm.

Am I happy about this. NO. Am I stopping him. NO. Should I stop him. I don't know the answer to that question. Our primary care physician is aware and hasn't given me the evil eye so I think we are safe in letting this happen. Even if DH doesn't pass the class and the exams he will have attempted something that keeps him in the here and now. That is important in and of itself.

As for his dementia, there is little evidence of it other than occassional short term memory problems. This is very minor and only I notice it.

Please continue your prayers for all dementia patients and their extended families who deal with this disease and its daily reminder of who the patient was and who they are now.

Another journey to the neurologist

2009-03-18T08:00:00.002-04:00

DH has been seeing a neurologist for his dementia. Today he is going to see the same doctor for his migraine headaches. The family doctor feels that he can no longer treat DH for the headaches. In my mind this is a positive move. DH didn't even complain about going to see this doctor. (He doesn't like him because he says DH has dementia and DH is in denial.)

I think we are going to a different stage of dementia. I don't know enough about the disease to be sure and need to do some research. DH is having episodes of extreme anger about minor/stupid things. Either this is caused by the migraine (5 weeks in duration) or the dementia. I will have to play this one out a day at a time. Now I understand why the dogs disappear into the basement the minute DH starts with his anger. I believe that it should become an indicator to me that I need to leave the living room at the same time. The only problem is I have to come up with a minor reason to leave...the dogs can just go and not have to explain. VBG.

Please keep praying for patients with dementia and their extended family and friends.

12:45 am on March 17, 2009, Brian O'Neill left this world for the next.

2009-03-17T12:14:00.001-04:00

Update on Brian O'Neill

2009-03-16T16:02:00.003-04:00

Brian was taken to the hospital today after serious problems. He has been put in medication and the problems are diminishing but he appears to be in his final transition. Please pray for Brian, his wife Angie, their sons Gavin and Grant and their entire extended family and friends. This has been a journey with God as their beacon and they are surrounded by His love.

No news is good news

2009-03-16T15:58:00.002-04:00

DH is still the same. We are at a total stand still as far as his dementia is concerned. There is very little evidence of short term memory loss, although it is still there if I look for it. He still gets things mixed up like terms for computers or terms for insurance or of all things terms for household items. I suppose this is normal for dementia patients. Still it keeps kicking me in the heart.

Please continue your prayers. Thank you.

For those who wish to contribute to the trust fund for Brian o'Neill, Angie, Gavin and Grant

2009-02-26T11:09:00.002-05:00

Smooth waters and no waves

2009-02-25T08:11:00.002-05:00

DH is still the sames as he has been since he recovered from his hospitalization in November. He still has difficulty discerning between Social Security and Worker's Comp and now he cannot discern between Medicare and Medicaid. I don't know if this is a symptom of dementia or just an inability to keep these straight.

DH still has his temper tantrums. He can be very angry. Both dogs are quick to escape to the basement of the house when he is angry. They know it before I do because the anger comes before the raised voice. Our family doctor is aware of these problems and has been walking me through these difficult times.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends.

Brian

2009-02-18T07:42:00.002-05:00

My dear blog friend Angie is in the battle of her life. She is trying to comfort two little boys while her husband, Brian, is fighting for his life.

Please pray for Brian, Angie, Grant and Gavin. They are surrounded by family and friends and have a deep belief in God.

Brian, Angie, Gavin and Grant

2009-02-16T13:10:00.002-05:00

A blog friend is loosing her husband this week. Brian was diagnosed with brain cancer 12 years ago. They have been leaning on the Lord and going forward with their lives doing the best they can. They have two little boys, Gavin and Grant, who cannot understand why God is taking the father away.

Brian has had a very bad weekend, with a very few lucid moments. The family and friends are gathered together to celebrate Brian's life moment to moment. They are very strong in their faith.

Please pray for Brian to transition to our Lord with dignity. Please pray for Angie as she becomes the head of the house and the adult that two little boys will lean on. Please pray for Gavin and Grant who are going through the hardest thing possible for a child. God give them your peace that passes all understanding.

If you care to visit this family go to http://www.aboneill.blogspot.com. Hers is an inspiring story for all caregivers.

Please pray for all caregivers who are loosing so much.

Further evidence

2009-02-06T07:51:00.002-05:00

Today DH is going to handle MIL financial activities. Even three months ago this would not have been possible. In the future it may become impossible. However, right now DH is clear headed and able to process thoughts well.

Having been through his severe illness in October and the months leading up to it I have a very clear picture of what dementia will bring in our future. I have already walked the walk of declining mental capacity. Now that we are back at the beginning again (he was diagnosed in January, 2008) and walking the true path I can see little signs that I might not have seen before. The symptoms are very mild and infrequent. Maybe one per day. What a blessing I have been given. I have my husband back.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

Sunny Day in S.W. Ohio

2009-02-05T11:29:00.002-05:00

Today it is very cold and sunny. We had a low of -6 this morning. DH drove me to work so that I wouldn't have to walk in from the parking lot. He takes such good care of me.

He had a doctor's appointment today with our family physician. Everything is okay. That is good news. DH sees the doctor or his nurse practitioner every other week to make sure that the infection that got him so sick in October never comes back.

Today DH is going to run some errands for me while I am at work. I praise the Lord every day for his recovery and how DH helps me out. There are still occasional episodes of short term memory loss, but not very often.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

One Day at a Time

2009-02-04T07:49:00.005-05:00

MIL is settling in at the nursing home. We went to visit last night through a snow storm that dumped 8 inches of snow. Between 4:00 and 6:00 PM we got 4" and driving was a nightmare. DH did a great job driving from our house to MIL and back. We talked about the storm and her doctor's appointment tomorrow. I think she was hoping that it would be cancelled but the roads are getting the attention they need.

DH is in rare form. He is driving me nuts with questions that have one answer, "I don't know.". Then he says that he wants my opinion. I still don't know. This is something that hasn't happened for a long time and is entirely in character. Even though I am going crazy I am glad that he is in rare form.

I forgot to mention that at our guild meeting last night one of the members showed two small quilts at show and tell. They are for the Alzheimer's Quilt Initiative that Ami Simms has established. The member mentioned that her father had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My prayers go out to her and her father. They are starting down a difficult path, but I know that she will get through it. She is taking every step as they come along with courage and faith.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their families, friends and caregivers.

Moving Mother in Law

2009-02-03T09:28:00.003-05:00

MIL is moved into the Nursing Home. She is angry. She likes the food. She is talking to us. She complains about every little thing. We have visited her every day and she always has one item or more to complain about. We deal with it. We do not argue about it. We try to fix it.

I now have two to take care of.

DH was fantastic this weekend. He worked so hard to move MIL and all her belongings. My daughter from my first marriage and her husband helped with the move on Saturday. Even with the bad weather earlier in the week we got everything out of the apartment and emptied the trailer in time to turn it in Sunday at 4:00. AND No one got hurt or bruised or fell in the icy snow. A blessed miracle!

DH is going down today to check out everything and this should be his last trip. Of course it is supposed to snow between 1 and 4" today. Hope that he travels easy and safe.

DH is showing limited signs of dementia. Only occasional short term memory problems. I am so blessed.

Last night I attended my quilt guild for the first time since November. At that time DH was still in the rehab center. My former friends in guild ignored me. In fact I said hello to one and she just walked passed me. They all gathered in a corner near the membership and name tag table. Maybe the guild is ignoring them the way they are ignoring me. What goes around comes around. I would never treat a worm the way they treated me.

I know that some will believe what I next say is a lie, but I would never wish any harm to them, I would never wish they have to go through a devastating life change like mine and I will never attempt revenge on them. They were my friends. They are now people that I know but do not wish to associate with. I will be polite and keep my distance. I just want them to be polite and leave me alone.

Thank you for all your prayers over the last months. Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their families.

Snow and sleet and freezing rain then snow again

2009-01-29T07:48:00.004-05:00

The Cincinnati area has been blasted by Mother Nature. We along with many others in the Midwest are dealing with unbelievable road conditions and many are without power. We have been fortunate. We have power, I can get to work and MIL has power. I cannot ask for anything more.

Yesterday DH was working trying to get the cars loose from all the snow etc. Our neighbor came over and helped. What a blessing neighbors are. We live in a community that is all working couples and don't get to know each other very well. But each of us tries to help out when we can.

DH is worrying about all the things that can go wrong this weekend with the move for his mother. I keep trying to encourage him so that he will only have expectations for the best. No I am not Pollyanna. But I know that I feel better if I look at the bright side of things and that I get clinically depressed if I only think about what bad things can happen. The Lord tells us not to worry and that He will take care of us. I have to lean on that promise and try to walk the path He wants me on.

In a way I think that God is trying to help DH heal from all the illness of the past two years. Snow is a way to heal, you ask! Getting him out of his chair and moving around is a blessing. I don't want a "couch potato" to come home to but a husband who has done things during the day and feels good about himself. Working on a car, working in the yard, and working in the garage are all things that lead to positive feelings and I do try to encourage him.

Please continue your prayers for all dementia patients and their friends.

Visit to Neurologist

2009-01-28T15:57:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we visited the neurologist. He had not seen DH since November.

DH was asked if he was using the c-pap. Answer: only when he wants to. Dr was not pleased.

DH was asked if he felt that there had been any change. Answer: no. Dr asked me the same question. Answer: I indicated that there are rare occasions when DH has short term memory problems.

Dr said he did not need to see DH for six months unless there were consistant short term memory loss or other changes.

Hooray! We have a major milestone!

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their loved ones.

Snow Day

2009-01-27T09:17:00.002-05:00

We are getting a major storm here in S.W. Ohio. We have over 3" of snow now with up to 10 - 15" more expected. Wow.

DH drove me to work this morning. Thank you God that he is well and able to drive. I could have easily driven myself, but I didn't want to. We had no mishaps on the way to work and DH got home safely as well. I expect my employeer to dismiss us early today as they have a history of sending us home early when the weather is really bad.

DH and I have an appointment with the neurologist today. I wonder what he will say. DH is declaring that the diagnosis was totally wrong. Are we going to stop the Namenda? I hope the doctor will strongly advise against it.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their families and friends.

Move for MIL

2009-01-26T08:05:00.003-05:00

Saturday we spent 6 hours packaging MIL's clothing and the items she wants to display on her curio cabinets in her room at the nursing home. She is starting to show a little more interest in this move when she realized that she would be taking more than her clothing. We packed all the really pretty afghans she has made over the years to take as well.

DH is in an up roar. Things are not going his way and he is furious. Yesterday after a comment he made about not being in control I put him in control. I said nothing more about the move except that I would do what he wanted. He is not happy with that. DH has never been in control. He has never been allowed to be in control. His parents always controlled him and his father always controlled his mother. He is very uncomfortable right now. I do not know how this will turn out, but it should be very interesting.

Since his accident in 2007 and his diagnosis of dementia in 2008 I have been the caregiver and the lead on all things responsible. Now he is being pushed into the place of head of house. I am going to have a hard time standing back, but I knew in my heart and mind that it is exactly what he needs. Please pray for me to have the patience to give him the freedom to make this work or make mistakes that can be fixed.

Please continue to pray for dementia patients, their caregivers and extended family.

Epidural appears to be a success

2009-01-22T07:40:00.002-05:00

DH had an epidural yesterday to help with a slipped disc. He is walking better already today. There is still some numbness in his back and leg. They say that it takes at least one week for full results. So far great!

Tomorrow is the great planning day. We are getting together with our daughter and son-in-law to plot the great move. (MIL to nursing home is the great move.) I am sure that DD will have many suggestions. Cannot wait to see DH response. Should be interesting. I need to back away and let him step forward and make his needs known. It has been a long time since I didn't make all the decisions.

Last night I reminded DH that we have an appointment with the neurologist next week. He thought these were no longer necessary. I asked if he wanted to get off the Namenda. He didn't really answer the question. We will see what the doctor says, but I still see minor short term memory problems occurring.

Please keep praying as our God is a great God.

Another wife struggling with life

2009-01-21T08:18:00.002-05:00

I have been following another blogger who has two young boys and a husband with cancer. Angie is surrounded by family and friends that are blessing her daily with support and help. She has an attitude of belief and trust in God that surpasses understanding. She can complain about a school closing yet deals with the major crisis in her life with such a spirit of God. I wish I knew her personally so that I could emulate her.

Please pray for Angie, Brian, Gavin and Grant as they walk the steps of life. If you would like to follow Angie and her family her blog is at: http://aboneill.blogspot.com/.

DH is having an epidural for a slipped disc today. Thank God he has healed so well from the illness in October. He is dealing with this in such a wonderful way that would not have been possible six months ago. Our God is a wonderful God.

Please continue to pray for dementia patients and their extended families.

Another great day

2009-01-20T14:14:00.003-05:00

Today I drove myself to work. DH had an appointment on the east side of Cincinnati at 8:00 am and there was no way he could make the appointment on time after dropping me off at work. It was a long cold walk into the office and I am in the first lot because of a handicapped sticker on my car. 13 is just too cold for this slow walker.

When I got to work he asked me to call and then reassured me that I didn't have to drive to work every day until I really felt like it. Boy I would love to take advantage of that offer and never drive to work again. But...that is lazy and taking advantage of him. It would show him that one car will work for both of us, but at what expense? I think I had better plan on driving myself as soon as I am really ready to do it regularly.

He has really stepped up to the plate to become my caregiver. I will never be able to say thank you enough to him. There have been a few moments when we didn't see eye to eye, but that is typical of any marriage. We iron them out and go forward.

We go to see DH neurologist next Tuesday. I think he will see little if any change for the worse. Maybe we can go back to once every three months for visits. I surely hope so and I an certain DH would like it too.

Bless all of you who are praying for dementia patients and their extended families.

DH is on top of things

2009-01-16T09:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday DH called the company that has put alarm systems on all of our vehicles. They are going out of business and selling everything at half price. We are going to get additional remote controls for both vehicles and have an alarm system put on the newest vehicle with a remote starter as well. The older vehicle needs some maintenance work on its alarm system and we are going to try to get it back in full working order. DH thought of this on his own and pursued the necessary information. When he told me about his research he indicated that we had about 24 hours to act on it.

This morning it was the first thing on my mind. I wasn't trying to test DH, but busy getting ready for work, and didn't remind him of the conversation. As DH was driving me to work he brought up the subject himself. This indicates to me that his short term memory is not as impacted by the dementia as we were afraid it was. This is a big Woo Who!

DH has been a wonderful care giver and now it is time for us to trade the titles again. He injured his spine over the holidays and after an extensive MRI he is going to have an epidural to try and move the disk back 1/4" into the proper position. If the epidural doesn't work spinal surgery is the next step. This will not be an easy time for us.

MIL is moving to our hometown the last weekend in January. She will be in a nursing home within 2 miles of our house. We will start packing her heirloom possessions this weekend. We will also be packing some of her off season clothes as well. I anticipate 9 boxes and some large sized garbage bags will come back to our house this weekend. It is a small start, but it will be an accomplishment. She has held on so long that it is harder on her now than it would have been a few years ago. I feel for her. She is loosing her Independence and her privacy. Two very hard things for an individual to do. Thank God I had a long week in a nursing home during my recovery from surgery. As a patient I now know what to look for and how to help her with the transition.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their caregivers and families as they struggle to love and help.

Working Girl

2009-01-13T10:13:00.002-05:00

Today is my first day back at work. You wouldn't believe it but I had over 600 e-mails in my inbox. It will take hours to clean up.

DH drove me to work as I am not released to drive yet. He actually got up with me at 6:15 and took care of the dogs and me before the drive. I love having coffee with him first thing in the morning.

Last night he discovered that his right ankle was badly swollen. He has a rash that is being treated with hydrocortisone on the same leg. This morning the swelling is down, but we will be watching it. He was the one that discovered it. This is good because it means that he is watching his body for symptoms that might lead back to the staph infection. He is back in the early stages of dementia!!! Happy Dance!

Please keep praying for patients with dementia, their caregivers and families.

Return to posting

2009-01-10T09:16:00.002-05:00

It has been over a month since my last post. DH is doing very well. He has been taking care of me since my surgery and doing a very good job of being a caregiver. I will be returning to work next Tuesday. It will be 5 weeks since my surgery.

We had a wonderful Christmas. Our daughter, son-in-law and grandson came over during the afternoon and we exchanged gifts. It was great to see them here. The dogs, Max and Roxie, were very interested in our grandson, who does not really trust big dogs. We will have to find the opportunity to make it easier for all.

My MIL is moving to our city the end of this month. She will be entering a nursing home. She has been refusing this for over four years. James has promised to visit her daily. This will keep both of them active. Initially we will go to church services in the NH weekly to get her involved with the other members. This will be good for all of us.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their family and caregivers.

Driving

2008-12-04T07:26:00.003-05:00

DH finally admitted that his driving edge has become less acute. There are times that he scares me when he is driving. He pulls too far forward at stop signs and red lights. He drives too close to the white or yellow lines. He follows too close. All of these can cause a disaster but he is trying and for that I give him a 10.

Surgery for myself is coming closer. Yesterday I asked DH to list the things that he felt needed to be completed around the house before I go to the hospital. He had a very good list at the end of the day. I almost completed one of his items. There has been a box of books in our master bedroom since the carpeting was cleaned. Last night I put most of the books away. Tonight I will complete the task. When I say books I mean close to 250 books. My endurance is not great now so I am taking my time but sticking to it until I give up or finish.

Please continue to pray for all dementia and Alzheimer's patients, their care givers, families and friends. God bless you.

DH not well

2008-12-02T07:43:00.003-05:00

Yesterday DH visited the doctor for his weekly protime test. (He is on Coumadin therapy and currently the dosage is changing weekly.) After my visit with our primary care physician last week and some straight talk the first thing they did was take an x-ray of his lungs. He has fluid in his lungs again. They put him on a strong antibiotic and took blood samples for various tests. DH is scared that he is sick again and will end up in the hospital. I keep encouraging him by reminding him that this time we caught it early and will see it through to total healing. He was also told that it will take six months for his strength to totally return. I don't think he liked that, but it will give him a time line to work towards.

The rehab hospital that he was in the final two weeks of his hospitalization has a six month free use of the physical therapy swimming pool. I am encouraging him to take advantage of it. If I encourage (nag) him often enough he will finally hear me and call about arrangements. He needs this to help regain his strength.

I extend my deepest sympathies to Ami Simms and her family. Ami's mother Beebe passed away this last weekend from Alzheimer's and will be deeply missed. You can visit Ami's blog at www.amisimms.wordpress.com. She is the founder of the Alzheimer's Quilt Initiative at http://www.alzquilts.org/.

I have a very busy next two weeks so posts may not be daily or very long.

Thank you again for all your prayers for dementia patients, their care givers and extended families. This is a very tough road to walk.

2008-12-01T08:40:00.002-05:00

Although I had a four day weekend most of the time was spent working in the kitchen, working on a toilet that will not flush and searching for 5 pistols that belong to DH. The kitchen is almost back in pristine shape, the toilet is still not working and DH found 4 of the pistols. Today he will be looking for the last one. Finding these pistols takes a load off my mind.

We did have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with DD, SIL and GS. Jeremy is growing into such a wonderful boy. He and I had a long conversation and I must say he is fantastic. I love him too much to define. After dinner we had some target practice. Wait, you say. Jeremy is only 7. Well that kid can sure shoot a marshmallow blaster. I learned from him. What fun!

I have a very heavy work load during the next 15 calendar days and on December 16 I will be having my right knee replaced. I don't know how much blogging I will do in the meantime. I also need to stick very strictly to my diet so that my physical therapy after surgery is easier. 30 minutes 3 times a day for knee replacement physical therapy and some of it is patient driven. Thank God some of it is a machine that works on keeping the knee flexing. I will start at 35 degrees and end up at 110 degrees flex. After that any additional flexibility will be on my own.

DH is worried about how he will be able to care for me after I get home from my three day hospital stay. I am sure that he will do fine. He is still showing symptoms of dementia. Last night he repeated the same question within 5 minutes, but stopped half way through as he realized that he was repeating. That in itself is reasuring.

Bless you and please continue to pray for dementia patients and their extended families.

Have a great day.

Minor temper tantrum

2008-11-25T09:53:00.002-05:00

DH had a minor fit of anger yesterday when the Buick would not start. He said to sell the **** thing. Of course this morning he was full of ideas on how to fix the problems. This is the man I married 14 years ago. Angry one minute and fixing the problem the next. I have learned to ignore the anger and wait for the calm after the storm. Actually the anger is nice. For the last two years he didn't really have any temper tantrums. Yes, he was angry, but there was no specific subject for the anger.

I know you think I am crazy, but the normal from before this all started is something I am used to. My father was exactly the same way and sometimes (more often than I like to admit) I am too. If it doesn't work get angry. NOW THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Blame it on being too close to my father. I loved and idealized him. He wasn't always right, but back then I was a child that only imitated. Now as an adult I realize it isn't right. When I am scared I get angry and hit out at everything and everyone. There is no excuse for it, but it has been the way I handled things from childhood. I do try to stop before it gets bad but sometimes it still slips out and then I have to be ashamed of myself.

We are having two Thanksgiving dinners this year. Tomorrow we are spending the afternoon with my MIL and will have country ham, biscuits and gravy. I am providing the food. Thursday we are spending the afternoon with out Teresa, John and Jeremy. I will be bringing homemade dinner rolls and deviled eggs. We are going to share the cost of a Honey Baked Turkey. Wow, what a dinner with the other menu items that Teresa will make.

I hope everyone who is American will have a wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Thank you for your prayers for dementia patients and their extended families.

DH and driving

2008-11-24T09:02:00.002-05:00

DH drove all the way home from Gatlinburg. His only problem is following too close to other drivers and that has been a habit for many years. It seems that he has returned to his previous level of dementia as when he was diagnosed 10 months ago. What a relief!

He still have his memory moments, but they are only moments. This morning he kept asking where I had put his GPS unit. He had left it on the dining room table and was insisting that he had not moved it. Then he looked at the table next to his arm chair and there it was right where he had put it. This I can deal with. This is minor. This is where I want him to be right now.

We still have two months before we visit the neurologist again. I cannot wait to see what the doctor's response is.

Bless you and keep you during this holiday season.

Thank you for your prayers and keep all dementia patients and their extended families in your prayers.

Responses to "Sour Apples"

2008-11-21T18:36:00.001-05:00

I received responses from two individuals on my blogs. One was a member of my guild and the other anonymous. I am not surprised by either. The one who is a member of my guild cannot imagine that the members of the guild could possibly have treated me that way. I never said all members of the guild. Check "Sour Apples" and you will see that only a few members treated me with such disdain. The others have treated me with respect and understanding. To anonymous I can only say that you are probably one of those who treated me so badly and now you are trying to make me out the bad guy (in spite of claiming not to be a member of my guild).

I have been able to move one. But these members (not all members) of my guild obviously have not been able to deal with the guilt and self horror they have after what they have done. I can only pray that they will move on with their lives and leave me alone. I haven't found any need to comment on their blogs and I hope that they stay out of mine.

This is my blog and I only recently reopened the ability of others to leave comments. The first two are negative. Be nice. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Pain can be felt many ways and the response is not predictable and is often beyond control. Either you get it or you don't.

Have a great day.

Sour Apples

2008-11-14T09:37:00.001-05:00

Right now all my former friends from Quilt Guild are enjoying themselves at a retreat at Blue Licks Battlefield and State Park. They are eating and drinking and sewing and sharing quilt tips and talking and having a wonderful weekend. I do envy them. I love retreats.

I have no hopes that these former friends will ever become my friends again. In fact I don't want their friendship. However, I cannot imagine cutting myself off from the guild and future quilt retreats. I am not sure what I will be doing about it, but a solution will be found that makes me content in myself. If they are uncomfortable about my solution that will be something they will have to deal with.

These former friends never understood what I was going through. They just saw my sorrow and anger at circumstances and could no long deal with it. Again, that is their problem. That my DH almost died on October 10 is something they know nothing about and I don't really think they would care.

I have lost one husband to an auto accident, divorced a second because he shut me out of his life and almost lost a third one to kidney failure, sepsis, staph infection and pneumonia. For three days we kept DH alive on a ventilator while trying to heal the infection, restart the kidneys without dialysis and clear his lungs from the pneumonia. That we have had four weeks of hospitalization to deal with; that DH has lost 30 pounds during his illness; that he is using a walker or wheelchair because he has no endurance; that I have been beside myself with worry; in all of these things they were not there for me.

They pledged their friendship and help and then withdrew it because they could not deal with me. I regret that they were unable to help me. I would have loved the support of friends. However, I am moving forward and getting my life in order. My DH still has dementia. He will continue to slide downhill into a memory loss. There will be times that I will want to strike out at anything to deal with the anger of my husband loosing his memory. I will find other friends who will comfort me. I will find other quilt buddies to interact with. I will go on with my life and be a happy and content person.

I can only feel sorry for these women and hope that they never have to deal with what I have been going through and what I have ahead. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I have been at the brink of death and seen my husband pull back into a life that we never thought we would enjoy again.

Whether these women read my blog or not, I felt that I finally had to express my sadness at their reaction to my deepest pain. They were not there for me and I can never forget what they did to me. They are forgiven and written out of my life.

I am sorry for the sour apples...but I needed to get this written so that I can go on with my life. The pain inflicted has continued to eat at my heart and I don't want that pain any more. I don't want them to apologize. I just want them to stay away from me and leave me alone.

In spite of the content of my blog today, please have a happy and safe day. May God watch over you and keep you in his love.

Buick works -- DH fixed it

2008-11-14T09:01:00.002-05:00

Yesterday DH got the Buick running. He was very tired last night, but the success of the completion was evident. He was very happy.

We went grocery shopping after I got home from work. He was not able to walk the entire story, but that was okay. He tried and that is the most important thing. On the way home I turned into our subdivision and he asked where I was going. I told him home. He seemed slightly lost. I think he is still reclaiming his surroundings. Maybe I am fooling myself and this is dementia rearing it's ugly head. I don't know, but I will continue to be observant.

He is so much improved that from time to time I think that the diagnosis of dementia was a total mistake. Then something like this crops up and I get discouraged.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their care givers, their family members and the medical community that works so hard to assist them.

Weather moderating and DH is going to work on his car

2008-11-12T07:35:00.002-05:00

Today they are forecasting weather in the upper 50's and DH is planning on working on his Buick. Hooray! He is motivated and his endurance is increasing. So is his appetite. Last night we had left over pizza and he ate 1/2 of the pizza by himself. This is a great stride forward.

Tonight I am going to ask for his help in cleaning out the Mercury. We will be driving it for our vacation and it needs a spring cleaning. Oh, you say, it is fall. Well then a fall cleaning. I am so happy that I am getting silly.

Silly is fine. Silly is great. I have my husband back and I am celebrating.

Still keep praying for all dementia patients, their caregivers, their families and all who take care of them.

DH has been given back his driving license

2008-11-11T07:52:00.002-05:00

Yesterday DH and I visited our primary care physician. He agree's with me that DH is now capable of driving. He is clear headed and more in control of himself than he has been in almost 10 months. The doctor also said that the staph infection was probably dormant for several months and was messing with DH's head toward the last few weeks. It was such a pleasure to give him his driver's license! (I only had it in my wallet so we could vote...but the symbol was great.)

One day this week DH is going to take my car for the day and get the oil changed. He also has some work to do on his Buick to get it running. He was worried the other day that what ever work he had done in the last few weeks may have been totally wrong and he has a lot of work to do to fix the car. This will give him something to do during the long days. He has also said that he is starting to not miss working as an over the road truck driver. I know this will always be in his blood, but he really is not in the position to drive professionally any longer. His gratious attitude about this is surprising, but very welcome.

I asked him what he wanted to take with him on vacation and he said only his laptop computer. He is still getting frustrated with it, but not giving up. This coming week may be the opportunity to get him back in the groove with his computer. I will have the time and patience to sit with him and work on it.

We are so looking forward to this vacation. I cannot wait.

Thanks again for all the prayers and please keep praying for all dementia patients. It is frustrating from the view of the caregiver, but to be loosing your most precious memories and know it is happening must be devestating.

DH is home!!!!!

2008-11-10T07:53:00.003-05:00

I picked up DH on Friday morning and brought him home. His stamina is still lacking, however he is getting better each day. The rehab facility changed and deleted several of his meds. We are seeing the primary care physician today and will try to get the rest that are needed added back into his daily meds. For now I am following the list the hospital gave us.

Yesterday the intake nurse for the visiting nurses came by to interview DH. He too had a bad experience with the first rehab facility. It seems that this is not the first time a nurse on their staff has been caught stealing medications that have a street value. I doubt that they will act on this, but it may cause some real intent watching by the Cincinnati police.

I really have my husband back! He is alert and awake all day long. No naps. What a difference. He still has some very light symptoms of dementia. I believe that the diagnosis of dementia is still appropriate, but I will have him much longer than I thought. Most of this year I thought I would be a widow before spring of 2009. Now I think I will have a husband that is coherent and involved for a much longer time. This is a celebration of life!

I still ask for prayers for all dementia patients, their families and care givers. I have seen in my own life the miracle of prayers and want it for the others who deal with this disease. Thank you.

Still scheduled for Friday release

2008-11-06T10:40:00.002-05:00

The rehab center still has DH scheduled for release at 8:00 A.M. on Friday, November 7. My employeer has given me the okay to go directly to rehab to pick up DH and arrive at work later in the morning. The dogs are going to be so excited that I may go into the house first and put them out into the back yard before letting DH come into the house and up to the main level. Then I can let them back into the house.

I have checked our vacation location in Gatlinburg and they have a weight room and indoor swim park so that DH can continue his therapy on his own. We should have a very health man for the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Woo Hoo!

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families and caregivers. They need to be lifted up to the Lord on a daily basis.

Successful Road Trip

2008-11-05T08:18:00.002-05:00

Yesterday DH and I escaped the rehab center for 5 1/2 hours. First was a mad dash to the neurologist. The results of that appointment were amazing. The intake nurse was amazed in the change in DH. She could not stop commenting on it. The Dr. was a little less enthused and felt that the change was the result of the CPAP. (After the appointment DH told me that he hadn't used the CPAP for over a week.)

Next was down one floor in the Medical Arts Building to the orthopaedic surgeon. He was pleasantly surprised with the advances DH has made in physical therapy and encouraged DH to continue with his home exercises to increase muscle strength in his left arm and shoulder. He told DH that he would have a little more strength in the shoulder but that was all. DH really heard him for the first time and was not happy with the truth.

Next was a quick stop to pick up some cold drinks and drive to the polling precinct. There was no line, but earlier in the day there had been. We both voted and then went to Bob Evans for supper. After a leasurly supper we went back to the rehab center and watched the election results.

DH was tired, but alert toward the end of the evening. What a beautiful day.

The doctor's and nurses at the rehab center are telling DH that he will definitely be coming home this Friday. I have all my duckies in order to pick him up and bring him home. This will be a major celebration.

Praise and worship for Him who made this possible and thanks for all the prayers.

Road Trip

2008-11-04T09:40:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we passed the transfer to car test. Today James will go on his first road trip since his illness. He has two doctor's appointments and needs to vote. After all this, supper at his restaurant of choice and back to the rehab center.

I will update after the road trip is complete. I am sure he will be tired.

Bless all of you.

Temporary good behavior release

2008-11-03T12:07:00.003-05:00

DH is going to be allowed to go to two doctor's appointments and to vote tomorrow. I will be picking him up at the rehab center and driving him to his appointments and then we will go vote. The polling place is wheel chair accessable so that will be easy as well. I am going to take him out for supper at the restaurant of his choice.

They are still indicating that he will be going home Friday. If not, I will break him out for another doctor's appointment on Friday and treat him to supper again. I think we will both enjoy our time away from the hospital.

Yesterday while I visited we when down to the vending machines near the cafeteria and talked for about an hour in the cafeteria. He said he really enjoyed the time out of his room. I think we will be leaving the hospital room every evening the rest of the week to get him out and about.

Tonight I will be able to attent my guild meeting. DH was very good about giving up his evening visit. Since I saw him for an hour this morning while we practiced car transfer procedures and will be spending several hours together I think he was really sweet to let me go. I have a block to sew that needs to be turned in and I hope that I am the winner this month. If not, I will applaud the other member who wins as hard as possible!

DH will probably be getting a new roommate sometime this week. His current roommate is to be released tomorrow if all things go well.

Please pray for all the doctor's, nurse's, aid's, occupational therapist's and physcial therapist's that worked so hard for DH recovery. Along with your prayers they have brought about a miracle that I never anticipated.

Coming Home

2008-10-31T08:23:00.002-04:00

The physical therapist at the rehab center told DH yesterday that he thought DH would be released on November 7 and come home! Excitement! Happiness! Pleasure! It will be so good to have him home!

Every day in physical therapy he is increasing his strength and endurance. He is walking up a full flight of stairs in the rehab and walking down a full flight of stairs. That means he will have no difficulty getting around our bi-level home.

We have discovered that the type of walker that we have at home is not going to be the design that the therapist recommends. Another walker will have to be purchased. I am fairly sure that the insurance will pay for it.

Last night I delivered the next installment of t-shirts to DH. Everyone in rehab has been commenting on the different shirts he wears so I brought some different ones to him. It is a way to get him and the people around to interact. This is probably the hardest change that has taken place in his life since he was disabled. There has to be something he can be involved in that will continue this interaction. MIL and I have told him over and over to "get a hobby", but this is difficult because he has always been a worker and had very little play in his life other than his gun collection and scuba diving. Each of these are very expensive to support so with our financial circumstances being what they are these are not a possibility. We are going to have to work harder on this.

Again I must thank all of you for your prayers for DH. I believe that you and others who have prayed made a miracle happen.

Moving On

2008-10-29T10:44:00.002-04:00

DH continues to recover day by day. It is incredible to see the progress that he is making. I think his return home this week is a little aggressive, but hope to have him home by November 7. The dogs really miss him and spend as much time with me and as close as possible. I miss him too, but at least I get to visit him.

Last night we were talking about his driving and I told him that if he continued the way he is going and our family doctor agrees, I would be willing to be his passenger when he drives. He asked me when I started being worried about his driving and I had to think, but sometime in May he started to be more of a worry about driving for me. I hope he can get his driving privileges back. He would be much happier.

That is all for today. Please continue to pray for caregivers, dementia patients and their families.

Moving forward

2008-10-28T09:52:00.002-04:00

DH is really making strides in his physical therapy. At this rate they may send him home much sooner that we had expected. His only requirement will be handling the steps in the bi-level we live in and taking care of the dogs while I am at work.

Last night he said that I had aged a year since he gotten ill. If he only knew how much this has taken out of me. I am exhausted all the time. Even with a good night sleep, I am still running on empty. Thank God we have the week in Gatlinburg coming up. I need the R&R very much and to be able to spend it with DH will be an added bonus.

I just got an e-mail from my sister-in-law from my first marriage. She has adopted two young children from Liberia. She and her husband are missionaries. She is also looking after the 3 children her daughter has as DD is pregnant and having a hard row to hoe this time. This is the SIL that everyone thought was a yahoo. She has turned out to be a very wonderful woman.

Just wanted to post an update.

Bless all of you for your continuing prayers.

Getting better every day

2008-10-27T07:36:00.003-04:00

DH was up and sitting in the chair when I got to the hospital yesterday. Each day when I visit I see progress. I see a positive attitude and a total connection with the world around him. Today will be the first day of real physical therapy. Friday he was having low blood pressure because of the number of days flat in his bed. Today will be different, I know!

I am slowly getting back to a more even keel myself. I actually did some work around the house this weekend. Not nearly enough to catch up with where I was when DH got so sick, but a little bit that hadn't been done.

Thank you all so much for your prayers. Prayer does work and you have proven it!

You would not believe the difference

2008-10-24T14:28:00.002-04:00

DH is in a quality hospital/rehab center and within 15 minutes of arriving his entire attitude and well being changed. Instead of being sick he was recovering. The difference was amazing. The people at the new location care. They were on top of the meds immediately and had no trouble going over the meds and dosages. They haven't missed a single dose or had the incorrect amount. I truly believe the other place was selling drugs that should have gone to the patients!

DH is in therapy right now. The therapist that evaluated him yesterday afternoon had him walking up and down the hall with a walker and indicated that DH was not to spend much time in bed. DH must be walking or sitting in a chair, instead of vegging in the bed. Hooray! Finally someone who knows and cares about recovery.

DH is sharper than he has been in weeks. We discussed his reaction to the treatment he has received since the ambulance ride. Initially he was angry when he realized that we had put him on a ventilator. He was the one to make the decision to turn off the machines when his father was so ill. He never wanted to be hooked up to machines. Now a few days later he realizes that we made a decision based on the background of his wishes. He also knows that in the future all factors will be taken into consideration before any medical intervention is done. That he wants DNR under extreme circumstances I understand and will follow, but if he can recover the way he is now, intervention will occur.

We are going to Gatlinburg for a week in early November. He is excited about it. He is already making plans on locations he wants to visit. This is an excellent sign. I am so happy and relieved that these two weeks are over and at the same time these two weeks have brought us closer together. Not a nice way to make a marriage stronger, but stronger our marriage is.

Thanks for the prayers. Please continue to pray for all who need prayers. It doesn't matter what your religious background is, you have a entity that you believe in even if it is only a "High Power" and your prayers are heard.

Getting out of that ____ hole

2008-10-23T07:35:00.002-04:00

Today DH will be getting out of his current rehab and into a quality facility. Last night they didn't give DH his pain medication and then lied. He said this morning he could tell the difference once they gave him the morning dose. I am going to find out the process for filing a complaint with the government about this rehab/rest home facility. There are going to be some heads rolling!

I will take some FMLA time to make sure the move goes well.

Thank you again for all the prayers and continue to pray for all patients who have dementia. It is a scary time for them as they loose contact with everything they remember.

Transfer approved

2008-10-22T15:06:00.004-04:00

DH will be transferred from the rehab center to the hospital/rehab center tomorrow. I think the people at the current center are in a tizzy. Maybe they have never had a patient transferred away from them before. They seem to think that we are mis-treating them when the shoe is on the other foot. I hope that they learn to properly treat their patients in the future. We may have been the first to complain about the treatment. If they keep it up we won't be the last.

Thank you for your prayers!

Getting better every day

2008-10-22T08:15:00.002-04:00

DH is getting stronger everyday. I still have not been able to get him out of the present rehab facility. They still haven't gotten all his meds and he has been there for three and a half days. How unprofessional.

DH is back to normal. Minor short term memory problems and no other evidence of dementia. I really believe that the symptoms the last six weeks were him getting ill and not the dementia. This is very good news as far as I am concerned. I thought dementia was going to take him rapidly. Now I think I will have him around for a much longer time.

Prayers going out from me to all of you reading my blog. Thank you for your prayers for all caregivers and dementia patients.

Update on Rehab facility

2008-10-21T08:24:00.002-04:00

Last night while I was visiting DH he was given his pain meds. I asked to look at the dispensing cup and discovered an 80 mg pain med, but no 20 mg pain med. The nurse said "Oops, I forgot it". Then they brought additional evening meds and his anxiety med was 1/2 the dosage he is supposed to get.

The head nurse and I went over the list of med they have copied (by hand) from the list (printed) of meds from the hospital and the discrepancy is unbelievable. They are missing at least 8 meds and have wrong doses on several more. This is unacceptable!

DH went to physical therapy yesterday for the first time. The facility has very old weight machines or else the maintenance is poor. He was working on his arm muscles and the ROPE that lifts the weights broke. A ROPE????? I have phone calls into our doctor and the admissions office at the local hospital that is well known for rehab. I hope to get DH transferred asap.

DH is much more alert and involved in his care and his surroundings. I think that this illness was in progress for a long time and we thought it was the dementia. I want a really good analysis of his actual dementia symptoms. We cannot let an infection or illness happen again and just pass it off as dementia!

Bless all of you and keep praying for everyone you know who is facing physical issues. Prayers can make miracles happen.