Revelation

I have realized that the various hospitalizations that DH has experienced over the last two and a half years has played havoc with his memory. Several times lately when I say something about a plan that has been made and discussed with him he replies "It's nice you finely told me about this". It is more irritating that anything else. BUT...it may be a symptom that I need to watch.

DH is off all of his medication for dementia. The neurologist reminded me that I should look for symptoms and I think this may be one of them. As soon as DH is reminded he remembers that he already knows. The look on his face is one of pain.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families, friends and caregivers. They need all the prayers that they can get!

Recovering

DH has been home from the hospital for a week and a half. He is very worried that this will happen again. He is having memory issues. We are still adjusting his medications from what the hospital physician set up to what he really needs. It is a daily or weekly process.

We are must closer than before. Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. This time around he didn't spend a lot of recovery in rehab and therefore we are recovering together. This is very special in our marriage. I think we have taken a major step forward and it feels good.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families and friends and their care givers. They need all the prayers we can make.

We just spent another weekend in the hospital

DH collapsed Thursday while in a local auto repair shop. He had a temperature of 103.7 and his blood sugar count was 47. He was rushed to the hospital and put into intensive care. He was very combative and between trying to sit up and get out of bed they had to restrain him. Friday he managed to pull out all of the IV ports so they had to install a pic line.

He doesn't remember much until Sunday morning. They moved him from ICU to a semi-private room late Monday evening.

He wants to come home. He called earlier and said they may send him home today. They still are not sure what caused the whole thing. I think it was like last October when he had a massive infection that went undiagnosed. This lead to his blood sugar doing amazing things and ended up with him in a diabetic coma. I have already talked to our family doctor and suggested that we need to keep an eye open for future infections. Either test him regularly or just put him on a broad spectrum very intense antibiotic.
Yesterday the doctor in ICU told DH that he had almost died. Dear doctor did not give much information about that statement and I am not really happy about that.

The doctor this morning said that he thought DH had a seizure. We will see what the future brings.

One thing I do know is that we are not leaving the hospital until we have total copies of all the doctor and nurse notes as well as the results of all the tests. This will go to our family doctor to be available when (God forbid) we need them in the future.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended network of friends, family and care givers.

Doctor Releases DH

We had a visit with the neurologist last Wednesday. He said to stop all Namenda. But he also said not to throw it away for a while to see if it truly is not needed.

DH is grumpy and still himself. I see no signs of dementia at all.

He keeps telling everyone that he never had dementia. He is correct as far as that goes. He had all the symptoms and failed all the dementia tests that were given to him. He was literally a basket case a year ago. He still doesn't remember things that happened while he was so ill. It is hard to believe that a Staph infection can cause so much damage and give such strange symptoms. We are lucky he is still alive.

I may not have any updates for some time on this blog.

Please keep praying for all patients who are diagnosed with dementia, for their families and caregivers. They need these prayers from moment to moment.

Another Infection

DH is on antibiotics again. His symptoms are lack of appetite, sleepiness, lack of energy and a horrible temper. He is still on 1 Namenda per day. I don't know what to do! He is showing the same symptoms from January, 2008. If it is just the staph infection, we can deal with it. If it is something more I don't know how much strength I have left.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends. We really need it!

Maybe it's not dementia

Over and over DH says he does not have dementia.

The neurologist said to take him to 1/2 the dose of Namenda. Since the change there has been no change in his memory. No more and no less.

DH saw his psychologist last week. I was present. The doctor gave DH the standard 30 question test for dementia. He passed 28 out of 30. He had the wrong month and couldn't remember the third item in a list of words. I passed 29 out of 30. I couldn't remember the third item in a list of words. The psychologist strongly feels that the staff infection was messing with DH brain and cause symptoms that everyone took to be dementia.

We go back to the neurologist in three months (sometime in October) and then we will see if he is willing to stop the Namenda entirely.

It is a waiting game, but the results could be fantastic. I refuse to get my hopes up. It is very hard not to.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their extended families and friends and their caregivers. You have no idea how these prayers help.

After Doctor's Visit

We visited DH neurologist and he said to cut the Namenda back to once a day. I did pills Sunday and cut the Namenda to morning only. Only time will tell if this makes a difference or not. I will have to be most observant of behaviours.

Otherwise everything is status quo. No real changes other than DH trying to force me to do things that are not budget wise and me saying no. If you are a yes person then you know exactly how I feel. Saying no to someone you love is heart breaking.

Please keep praying. We all need your prayers.

Update

DH had a very bad time with post surgical pain last night. I have never seen him deal with so much pain.

Today he had an appointment with the nurse practitioner that works for our primary care physician. The outcome was that DH has to return to psychological therapy. Right now I am waiting for the therapist to call back and say she will see him after such a long absence. I expressed the urgency. I hope she really understands it.

This morning DH thanked me for helping him through the pain episode. That was a first. He usually doesn't say thank you for anything. He was brought up to know what things he is supposed to do and not to expect any (and I do mean ANY) recognition for what he has done. What a miserable childhood!

I am doing better. No more wanting to run away, but the idea is still tempting.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers, family and friends.

Is DH loosing his mind or just lying?

DH has been impossible this morning. He claims that he asked twice yesterday evening to drive the Mercury to a sleep study appointment. Initially I had planned to do some shopping while he was "sleeping", but decided to do something else instead. I do not remember him asking for the car at all.

Is he delusional? Is he lying? I don't know, but the day started off with a bang when he got home and started yelling.

I am at work now. I want to run away from home. I don't want to do this any more. I want a day of peace and quiet where I can do the things that need to be done without him constantly yelling, nagging or making disparaging comments.

How am I supposed to hold down a full time job and do things around the house with this kind of atmosphere? I have my own health problems and when they flare up is the time DH always acts the worse. It is like he has to have the attention while I am the one who needs the peace. I wish my mother was still alive. I could cry on her shoulder for hours right now.

Have you ever wanted to do something but you didn't have the proper tools for the project? Last night I wanted to paint the inside of the hall closet. I am in the process of changing it from a clothes closet to a pantry. I found the paint. I had old newspapers to cover the floor. All I could find was a 1" paint brush. Do you have any idea how long it takes to paint the three walls of a 36X24 closet? I was at the task for almost three hours. The wallboard had never been painted since the house was built and soaked up so much paint that you could hear it sighing with relief. This morning it looks good. But to have the pleasure of a task done well was taken from me by a man who only cares about his self and it is destroying me.

I have no support group; no friends who care about me and the rest of my family is totally in denial. Now where do I go?

Please pray for me. I really need it bad. Thank you, K

Toilet Update

I got home from work last night so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The toilet water had dropped down to a good level. By gravity? DH says that he did not dip out any water. However, the container that we have used in the past was next to the toiled. Strange how things happen but DH denies them.

Now to a three day weekend. Hope that I can control my temper and get some things done around the house.

Please keep praying.

Bleach

We have a clogged toilet. Not an exciting piece of news. I have been trying to fix it with a plumber's snake and plunger. Last night I started working on it again and surprise it had some type of bleach product in it. DH claims that he didn't put anything in the toilet. Well, I don't believe him.

Tonight I will try to dip out all of the fluid and start over with gloves on. If this doesn't work I will have to call the plumber again. How much fun.

We have an appointment coming up with the dementia doctor. This will be on my list of things to talk about. DH still claims that he does not have dementia. I am going to suggest that he stop taking the Namenda. We will see what the doctor has to say about this.

Keep praying for all of us. We need it!

Thank you

The comment on the previous blog was a much needed reminder. As spouse and caregiver it is very easy to get angry at DH when the symptoms of his illnes frustrate me. Another blogger suggested I go into a different room and count to 10 or 100 or what ever I need so that I can be supportive when my DH needs help.

Thank you dear friend.

DH was up to his old tricks last night. The was a movie that I wanted to watch and he said he had already seen it and didn't want to watch it. I really wanted to see it and didn't change the TV channel. DH got angry and stomped out of the living room and went to bed. That was fine with me. I read until 1:45 am and then went to bed. This morning I am exhausted, but working as best I can. Before I left for work I told DH that if it happened in the future I would leave the living room and watch what I wanted on a different TV. This kills three birds with one stone. 1) I get to watch what I want. 2) He cannot get angry with me and flounce out of the living room. 3) I won't get angry at him by exiting the room and watching the program of my choice. This is the best of all worlds. We are both in a win/win situation. Why oh why didn't I think of this before?????

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their families, friends and caregivers. I really need it and I know that they do too.

Here we go again

I use this blog to keep track of my DH dementia symptoms. It seems we are starting down that slippery slope again. Last night he was having problems signing on to the internet with his computer. He has to connect via Sprint before starting Internet Explorer, but he wanted to do it the opposite way. He insisted that it was the correct way and he had always done it so.

My difficulty is not reacting with love, understanding and compassion. I get so experated with him that my voice starts yelling when my heart and mind tell me not to. What a visicous circle.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

Oh Dear and Alas

When talking to DH a week ago we were discussing the inheritance that I got from my father after he passed away. We used the money to purchase a new furnace, replace the shingles on the roof of the house and garage and to buy a security system. DH did not remember anything about the inheritance or how we had paid for these things.

Then yesterday DH told me that when he got home from visiting his mom the locks on the front door were different. We have gotten in the habit of locking them a different way in the last few months and they were locked the opposite of our current method. Then he could not find a special key that he had in his wallet, carefully placed so that it couldn't fall out. Oh dear, here we go again. Not a good thing.

Otherwise he is alert and aware. He does not appear to be having any major memory problems. That is God's blessing.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their caregivers, family and friends.

Update

DH had reverse shoulder replacement on June 9. He was home after one night in the hospital and is recovering as well as can be expected. The pain is greater than he had thought it would be.

DH is still visiting his mother daily. I have been taking him since his surgery, but today I think he is going to sneak out and drive himself to his mother's. It is all side streets and less than one mile. I hope I have not given him a choice that he should not make. He is stubborn and wants to be independent. I cannot blame him for that.

The surgery did not worsen the dementia symptoms. That is one issue that I was worried about and thank God that it didn't happen.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their families and friends and their caregivers.

Changes for the better

After my last post I had resigned myself to letting DH go. Then what I will call a miracle happened. Due to some personal events that happened in DH life he has decided that he does want to live. He will do everything to keep himself healthy and if he starts getting sick he will pursue it. He has seen the doctor about his sleepiness and had another sleep study. They feel that they have ruled out an infection at this time.

DH is still adamant that if he is very ill no extreme measures will be taken to keep him alive. At the same time he is going to make sure that he takes care of himself. BIG hooray!

This is the best news in a very long time. We have a plan of action that does not involve letting him get ill again and then dieing. This is real progress for a very stubborn man.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their families and friends and caregivers. Bless you.

Announcement from DH

Yesterday DH announced that no matter what I am not to allow the doctor's to prolong his life if he becomes ill again. This is not the first time that he has said this. It may be very hard if my MIL is still alive, but I will honor his wishes. He does not enjoy life at this time because he is so restricted in what he can do. I understand this, but my MIL and I have both told him to get a hobby. He is unable to do this. He does not want to learn a new occupation that would turn into a hobby.

I must honor his wishes. He thinks this will make life better for me. I don't think he remembers the loss when his former wife Dona passed away. I remember the loss of my first husband. I do not want to be a widow again.

I am at a loss for words.

Please continue to pray.

We continue on the path

DH was asking me a question and I asked if he remembered asking me the same question and what the answer was. He had no idea so I repeated my answer. It was like a light bulb. He remembered as soon as he heard the answer. Go figure. LOL

DH has been working on the vegetable garden this week. He has 1/2 of it tilled up. That may be the only part planted this month. We have rainy days scheduled for the next three and then (of course) the weekdays next week will be sunny and fine. I cannot take a day off work to plant tomatoes, cucumbers and green peppers. It will have to be on the weekend or after a long day at work.

Over all DH is doing well. He is pretty even with few angry moments. He is sleeping semi-well. He should be using his CPAP, but the straps give him a horrible headache. He has tried a new "mask" with a bite-plain, but it doesn't seem to be doing the trick on the sleep apnea.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their extended families and caregivers as they need all the prayers we can get.

Short Term Memory

DH had another short term memory lapse last night. One per day is not at all bad, but it was a question he had asked and I had already answered.

One day at a time. I am going to start to use this blog as a journal to keep track of DH health. This way I have a permanent record.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their extended families and caregivers. Prayers do make a difference!

Another Step

Today I was talking to my DH Worker's Comp lawyer. When I relayed the information to DH I had to take it to the simplest terms so that he would understand. He still cannot distinguish between BWC and SSD. So I call them Ohio money and Federal money. That he understands.

Looks like another surgery is going to be approved by BWC. DH will have a reverse shoulder replacement. It's like any joint replacement but this time the ball will not be at the end of the arm, but at the end of the shoulder. It will replace the rotator cuff that has deteriorated with arthritis. Fun time! We never know how DH will respond to surgery, but it has to be done.

I am trying to get my act back together. So many things to do and so little time. I almost wish it was the reverse, except I get bored so easily. LOL

Thank you for all your prayers and please keep all dementia patients on your prayer list.

May 7, 2009. Addition to above. When I got home from work he asked again about the difference between SSD and BWC. For some reason he is unable to distinguish between the two.

Short Term Memory

DH is starting to have more frequent short term memory problems. Yesterday was our Grandson's First Communion. While GS was opening presents, DH asked if we had gotten a card. We had stopped just for a card on the way to the church and he had signed it.

Much as I hate to admit it I think the journal is going to have to come out again. This is a bittersweet walk and it is full of wonder and fear.

God bless you and please keep praying.

A very successful trip

We had a great time in Orlando.

GS had his first Magic Kingdom experience, Epcot experience, Discovery Cove with dolphin encounter experience, Disney Hollywood experience, Sea World experience and Blizzard Beach experience. I need to get my photos into my blogs so that I can share them...but you should have seen the smile on this little boy when that dolphin took off swimming with the two of them!

DH rented a scooter to get around Walt Disney World and walked with his brace at Gatorland. He rented a Harley Davidson MC and had a blast. I didn't have the time to ride with him, but that's another story.

I spent so many hours snorkeling at Discovery Cover that I ended up twisting my neck and the next day had to deal with some vertigo. It's all gone now. The memories of snorkeling with the fish and manta rays (barbs removed) will always be with me.

DH is having more short term memory lapses. I will have to start up a diary so that I can keep track of them. They are minor and do not scare me, but they are increasing. It is to be expected and I am not having the difficulties that I had with it the first time through. This is much more gradual.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends as they deal with the issues of this disease.

24 hours and we leave for Orlando

Our big vacation starts Thursday when we leave for Orlando, FL for a full family vacation. DH, our daughter, our son-in-law and grandson (O and me too) are going to earn our Mickey Mouse ears. I haven't had a set since the original Mickey Mouse Club was on TV in the 1950's. Oh, dear, did I give my generational age away?

DH is still having a great deal of clarity. It's like 2008 never happened. Well almost. There are still a few occasions of short term memory lapse, but some of them are literally just a oops I forget that and not a I don't remember that at all.

He still believes that he is not a dementia patient, but will not stop taking the Namenda to test his belief. Thank God for that!

Cannot wait to get where it is warm. It snowed here yesterday! The ground was warm enough that it melted, but still snow in April.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and thank you for your prayers.

Continuing education

Tonight is DH second class for conceal to carry permit. I know that this is doing good for him. Not in the sense that it is curring his dementia. I know that dementia is a progressive disease and it will not reverse. However, he has had a migraine for almost six weeks. The migraine is going away. Whether it is because the doctor's have found a medicine that works or that he is doing something that makes him happy, the migraine is being concurred.

This is a man who has no hobbies. He collects guns. He loves scuba diving (too expensive). He loves motorcycles (again too expensive when he constantly wants to upgrade). At home and in the evening he has nothing to do. I read, quilt, use my computer for quilt design and yes I even play solitaire on the computer. I do not like sitting still and doing nothing. In many ways he is the same, but he never picked up something that can be done in the quiet of his own home.

I saw the testimony of Sargent Shriver's daughter Maria Shriver Swartzenegger about Alzheimer's disease and it really hit home. Here is a man that was a major player in the Kennedy years, a vice presidental candidate and now he can remember to go to mass and say his rosary, but he does not recognize his daughter. All dementia patients slowly go backwards in their lives. They loose the short term memories and then the mid-term memories, but continue to remember the childhood things. What a loss we all share.

Please keep praying. It helps us all.

Another Care Giver's Concern

A fellow care giver to a dementia patient commented on my blog yesterday. I have published her comment.

She has some very good insight to the problems that may arise if DH does get his conceal to carry permit. (For those of you who live outside of the U.S. we are not permitted to carry a concealed weapon at any time. If you have a gun in your car it must be unloaded and the ammunition must be in a separate compartment of the vehicle such as the trunk.) Once a class has been take and a test using the pistol that will be the weapon of choice for concealment has been taken and past a very thorough back ground check by the county sheriff's office and the FBI is done. If any part of this procedure shows that a person should not have the permit it will not be issued.

Last night was DH first class. There were a broad range of students including two ladies in their 70's and several different age groups. Some had never held a pistol let alone fired it. The first class was a discussion of a pistol and the instructor was the only one with one in his possession. He demonstrated how to load, unload and fire the pistol. Other areas were discussed and then a written exam was given.

Thursday evening the class is scheduled to discuss the laws about all firearms and specifically the conceal to carry permit. Another written exam will be given.

This coming Saturday there will be a firring range test with each individual using the weapon that they have purchased. This will be the final exam.

After passing the test a second application is filed with the sheriffs office and an interview will be taken. It will be at least 45 days after the interview before a decision will be issued whether or not DH will receive his permit.

Having said all that I must admit that at this time DH is safe with fire arms. He was raised on a farm and hunted squirrels, rabbits and other for the kitchen pot animals as well as animals that were destructive on the farm. His knowledge of firearms is extensive and he is very careful.

The future may bring about a change in the above and at that time I will probably have to make arrangements that DH be reexamined to retain his permit. It also may be necessary to remove all firearms from the residence. This will be difficult, but my reader is very accurate when she indicates that the dementia patient and all those around could be in peril.

I truly appreciate her comments and any others that will help me, DH and other care givers or dementia patients deal with their current situation and future needs.

Please keep on praying. It is the only thing that will keep care giver's sane and give the dementia patient the peace that is needed. God bless you all.

DH and his goals

DH has set a goal for himself that 15 months ago would never have been possible. I know that you will gasp and think that this is unbelievable, but it is something that he has wanted for years and his mind is clear enough (now) that it is a possibility. DH is starting classes tonight for his conceal to carry permit. Yes, he will take classes so that he can carry a firearm.

Am I happy about this. NO. Am I stopping him. NO. Should I stop him. I don't know the answer to that question. Our primary care physician is aware and hasn't given me the evil eye so I think we are safe in letting this happen. Even if DH doesn't pass the class and the exams he will have attempted something that keeps him in the here and now. That is important in and of itself.

As for his dementia, there is little evidence of it other than occassional short term memory problems. This is very minor and only I notice it.

Please continue your prayers for all dementia patients and their extended families who deal with this disease and its daily reminder of who the patient was and who they are now.

Another journey to the neurologist

DH has been seeing a neurologist for his dementia. Today he is going to see the same doctor for his migraine headaches. The family doctor feels that he can no longer treat DH for the headaches. In my mind this is a positive move. DH didn't even complain about going to see this doctor. (He doesn't like him because he says DH has dementia and DH is in denial.)

I think we are going to a different stage of dementia. I don't know enough about the disease to be sure and need to do some research. DH is having episodes of extreme anger about minor/stupid things. Either this is caused by the migraine (5 weeks in duration) or the dementia. I will have to play this one out a day at a time. Now I understand why the dogs disappear into the basement the minute DH starts with his anger. I believe that it should become an indicator to me that I need to leave the living room at the same time. The only problem is I have to come up with a minor reason to leave...the dogs can just go and not have to explain. VBG.

Please keep praying for patients with dementia and their extended family and friends.

12:45 am on March 17, 2009, Brian O'Neill left this world for the next.

Update on Brian O'Neill

Brian was taken to the hospital today after serious problems. He has been put in medication and the problems are diminishing but he appears to be in his final transition. Please pray for Brian, his wife Angie, their sons Gavin and Grant and their entire extended family and friends. This has been a journey with God as their beacon and they are surrounded by His love.

No news is good news

DH is still the same. We are at a total stand still as far as his dementia is concerned. There is very little evidence of short term memory loss, although it is still there if I look for it. He still gets things mixed up like terms for computers or terms for insurance or of all things terms for household items. I suppose this is normal for dementia patients. Still it keeps kicking me in the heart.

Please continue your prayers. Thank you.

For those who wish to contribute to the trust fund for Brian o'Neill, Angie, Gavin and Grant

Smooth waters and no waves

DH is still the sames as he has been since he recovered from his hospitalization in November. He still has difficulty discerning between Social Security and Worker's Comp and now he cannot discern between Medicare and Medicaid. I don't know if this is a symptom of dementia or just an inability to keep these straight.

DH still has his temper tantrums. He can be very angry. Both dogs are quick to escape to the basement of the house when he is angry. They know it before I do because the anger comes before the raised voice. Our family doctor is aware of these problems and has been walking me through these difficult times.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their extended family and friends.

Brian

My dear blog friend Angie is in the battle of her life. She is trying to comfort two little boys while her husband, Brian, is fighting for his life.

Please pray for Brian, Angie, Grant and Gavin. They are surrounded by family and friends and have a deep belief in God.

Brian, Angie, Gavin and Grant

A blog friend is loosing her husband this week. Brian was diagnosed with brain cancer 12 years ago. They have been leaning on the Lord and going forward with their lives doing the best they can. They have two little boys, Gavin and Grant, who cannot understand why God is taking the father away.

Brian has had a very bad weekend, with a very few lucid moments. The family and friends are gathered together to celebrate Brian's life moment to moment. They are very strong in their faith.

Please pray for Brian to transition to our Lord with dignity. Please pray for Angie as she becomes the head of the house and the adult that two little boys will lean on. Please pray for Gavin and Grant who are going through the hardest thing possible for a child. God give them your peace that passes all understanding.

If you care to visit this family go to http://www.aboneill.blogspot.com. Hers is an inspiring story for all caregivers.

Please pray for all caregivers who are loosing so much.

Further evidence

Today DH is going to handle MIL financial activities. Even three months ago this would not have been possible. In the future it may become impossible. However, right now DH is clear headed and able to process thoughts well.

Having been through his severe illness in October and the months leading up to it I have a very clear picture of what dementia will bring in our future. I have already walked the walk of declining mental capacity. Now that we are back at the beginning again (he was diagnosed in January, 2008) and walking the true path I can see little signs that I might not have seen before. The symptoms are very mild and infrequent. Maybe one per day. What a blessing I have been given. I have my husband back.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

Sunny Day in S.W. Ohio

Today it is very cold and sunny. We had a low of -6 this morning. DH drove me to work so that I wouldn't have to walk in from the parking lot. He takes such good care of me.

He had a doctor's appointment today with our family physician. Everything is okay. That is good news. DH sees the doctor or his nurse practitioner every other week to make sure that the infection that got him so sick in October never comes back.

Today DH is going to run some errands for me while I am at work. I praise the Lord every day for his recovery and how DH helps me out. There are still occasional episodes of short term memory loss, but not very often.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients.

One Day at a Time

MIL is settling in at the nursing home. We went to visit last night through a snow storm that dumped 8 inches of snow. Between 4:00 and 6:00 PM we got 4" and driving was a nightmare. DH did a great job driving from our house to MIL and back. We talked about the storm and her doctor's appointment tomorrow. I think she was hoping that it would be cancelled but the roads are getting the attention they need.

DH is in rare form. He is driving me nuts with questions that have one answer, "I don't know.". Then he says that he wants my opinion. I still don't know. This is something that hasn't happened for a long time and is entirely in character. Even though I am going crazy I am glad that he is in rare form.

I forgot to mention that at our guild meeting last night one of the members showed two small quilts at show and tell. They are for the Alzheimer's Quilt Initiative that Ami Simms has established. The member mentioned that her father had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My prayers go out to her and her father. They are starting down a difficult path, but I know that she will get through it. She is taking every step as they come along with courage and faith.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their families, friends and caregivers.

Moving Mother in Law

MIL is moved into the Nursing Home. She is angry. She likes the food. She is talking to us. She complains about every little thing. We have visited her every day and she always has one item or more to complain about. We deal with it. We do not argue about it. We try to fix it.

I now have two to take care of.

DH was fantastic this weekend. He worked so hard to move MIL and all her belongings. My daughter from my first marriage and her husband helped with the move on Saturday. Even with the bad weather earlier in the week we got everything out of the apartment and emptied the trailer in time to turn it in Sunday at 4:00. AND No one got hurt or bruised or fell in the icy snow. A blessed miracle!

DH is going down today to check out everything and this should be his last trip. Of course it is supposed to snow between 1 and 4" today. Hope that he travels easy and safe.

DH is showing limited signs of dementia. Only occasional short term memory problems. I am so blessed.

Last night I attended my quilt guild for the first time since November. At that time DH was still in the rehab center. My former friends in guild ignored me. In fact I said hello to one and she just walked passed me. They all gathered in a corner near the membership and name tag table. Maybe the guild is ignoring them the way they are ignoring me. What goes around comes around. I would never treat a worm the way they treated me.

I know that some will believe what I next say is a lie, but I would never wish any harm to them, I would never wish they have to go through a devastating life change like mine and I will never attempt revenge on them. They were my friends. They are now people that I know but do not wish to associate with. I will be polite and keep my distance. I just want them to be polite and leave me alone.

Thank you for all your prayers over the last months. Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their families.

Snow and sleet and freezing rain then snow again

The Cincinnati area has been blasted by Mother Nature. We along with many others in the Midwest are dealing with unbelievable road conditions and many are without power. We have been fortunate. We have power, I can get to work and MIL has power. I cannot ask for anything more.

Yesterday DH was working trying to get the cars loose from all the snow etc. Our neighbor came over and helped. What a blessing neighbors are. We live in a community that is all working couples and don't get to know each other very well. But each of us tries to help out when we can.

DH is worrying about all the things that can go wrong this weekend with the move for his mother. I keep trying to encourage him so that he will only have expectations for the best. No I am not Pollyanna. But I know that I feel better if I look at the bright side of things and that I get clinically depressed if I only think about what bad things can happen. The Lord tells us not to worry and that He will take care of us. I have to lean on that promise and try to walk the path He wants me on.

In a way I think that God is trying to help DH heal from all the illness of the past two years. Snow is a way to heal, you ask! Getting him out of his chair and moving around is a blessing. I don't want a "couch potato" to come home to but a husband who has done things during the day and feels good about himself. Working on a car, working in the yard, and working in the garage are all things that lead to positive feelings and I do try to encourage him.

Please continue your prayers for all dementia patients and their friends.

Visit to Neurologist

Yesterday we visited the neurologist. He had not seen DH since November.

DH was asked if he was using the c-pap. Answer: only when he wants to. Dr was not pleased.

DH was asked if he felt that there had been any change. Answer: no. Dr asked me the same question. Answer: I indicated that there are rare occasions when DH has short term memory problems.

Dr said he did not need to see DH for six months unless there were consistant short term memory loss or other changes.

Hooray! We have a major milestone!

Please keep praying for all dementia patients and their loved ones.

Snow Day

We are getting a major storm here in S.W. Ohio. We have over 3" of snow now with up to 10 - 15" more expected. Wow.

DH drove me to work this morning. Thank you God that he is well and able to drive. I could have easily driven myself, but I didn't want to. We had no mishaps on the way to work and DH got home safely as well. I expect my employeer to dismiss us early today as they have a history of sending us home early when the weather is really bad.

DH and I have an appointment with the neurologist today. I wonder what he will say. DH is declaring that the diagnosis was totally wrong. Are we going to stop the Namenda? I hope the doctor will strongly advise against it.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients and their families and friends.

Move for MIL

Saturday we spent 6 hours packaging MIL's clothing and the items she wants to display on her curio cabinets in her room at the nursing home. She is starting to show a little more interest in this move when she realized that she would be taking more than her clothing. We packed all the really pretty afghans she has made over the years to take as well.

DH is in an up roar. Things are not going his way and he is furious. Yesterday after a comment he made about not being in control I put him in control. I said nothing more about the move except that I would do what he wanted. He is not happy with that. DH has never been in control. He has never been allowed to be in control. His parents always controlled him and his father always controlled his mother. He is very uncomfortable right now. I do not know how this will turn out, but it should be very interesting.

Since his accident in 2007 and his diagnosis of dementia in 2008 I have been the caregiver and the lead on all things responsible. Now he is being pushed into the place of head of house. I am going to have a hard time standing back, but I knew in my heart and mind that it is exactly what he needs. Please pray for me to have the patience to give him the freedom to make this work or make mistakes that can be fixed.

Please continue to pray for dementia patients, their caregivers and extended family.

Epidural appears to be a success

DH had an epidural yesterday to help with a slipped disc. He is walking better already today. There is still some numbness in his back and leg. They say that it takes at least one week for full results. So far great!

Tomorrow is the great planning day. We are getting together with our daughter and son-in-law to plot the great move. (MIL to nursing home is the great move.) I am sure that DD will have many suggestions. Cannot wait to see DH response. Should be interesting. I need to back away and let him step forward and make his needs known. It has been a long time since I didn't make all the decisions.

Last night I reminded DH that we have an appointment with the neurologist next week. He thought these were no longer necessary. I asked if he wanted to get off the Namenda. He didn't really answer the question. We will see what the doctor says, but I still see minor short term memory problems occurring.

Please keep praying as our God is a great God.

Another wife struggling with life

I have been following another blogger who has two young boys and a husband with cancer. Angie is surrounded by family and friends that are blessing her daily with support and help. She has an attitude of belief and trust in God that surpasses understanding. She can complain about a school closing yet deals with the major crisis in her life with such a spirit of God. I wish I knew her personally so that I could emulate her.

Please pray for Angie, Brian, Gavin and Grant as they walk the steps of life. If you would like to follow Angie and her family her blog is at: http://aboneill.blogspot.com/.

DH is having an epidural for a slipped disc today. Thank God he has healed so well from the illness in October. He is dealing with this in such a wonderful way that would not have been possible six months ago. Our God is a wonderful God.

Please continue to pray for dementia patients and their extended families.

Another great day

Today I drove myself to work. DH had an appointment on the east side of Cincinnati at 8:00 am and there was no way he could make the appointment on time after dropping me off at work. It was a long cold walk into the office and I am in the first lot because of a handicapped sticker on my car. 13 is just too cold for this slow walker.

When I got to work he asked me to call and then reassured me that I didn't have to drive to work every day until I really felt like it. Boy I would love to take advantage of that offer and never drive to work again. But...that is lazy and taking advantage of him. It would show him that one car will work for both of us, but at what expense? I think I had better plan on driving myself as soon as I am really ready to do it regularly.

He has really stepped up to the plate to become my caregiver. I will never be able to say thank you enough to him. There have been a few moments when we didn't see eye to eye, but that is typical of any marriage. We iron them out and go forward.

We go to see DH neurologist next Tuesday. I think he will see little if any change for the worse. Maybe we can go back to once every three months for visits. I surely hope so and I an certain DH would like it too.

Bless all of you who are praying for dementia patients and their extended families.

DH is on top of things

Yesterday DH called the company that has put alarm systems on all of our vehicles. They are going out of business and selling everything at half price. We are going to get additional remote controls for both vehicles and have an alarm system put on the newest vehicle with a remote starter as well. The older vehicle needs some maintenance work on its alarm system and we are going to try to get it back in full working order. DH thought of this on his own and pursued the necessary information. When he told me about his research he indicated that we had about 24 hours to act on it.

This morning it was the first thing on my mind. I wasn't trying to test DH, but busy getting ready for work, and didn't remind him of the conversation. As DH was driving me to work he brought up the subject himself. This indicates to me that his short term memory is not as impacted by the dementia as we were afraid it was. This is a big Woo Who!

DH has been a wonderful care giver and now it is time for us to trade the titles again. He injured his spine over the holidays and after an extensive MRI he is going to have an epidural to try and move the disk back 1/4" into the proper position. If the epidural doesn't work spinal surgery is the next step. This will not be an easy time for us.

MIL is moving to our hometown the last weekend in January. She will be in a nursing home within 2 miles of our house. We will start packing her heirloom possessions this weekend. We will also be packing some of her off season clothes as well. I anticipate 9 boxes and some large sized garbage bags will come back to our house this weekend. It is a small start, but it will be an accomplishment. She has held on so long that it is harder on her now than it would have been a few years ago. I feel for her. She is loosing her Independence and her privacy. Two very hard things for an individual to do. Thank God I had a long week in a nursing home during my recovery from surgery. As a patient I now know what to look for and how to help her with the transition.

Please keep praying for all dementia patients, their caregivers and families as they struggle to love and help.

Working Girl

Today is my first day back at work. You wouldn't believe it but I had over 600 e-mails in my inbox. It will take hours to clean up.

DH drove me to work as I am not released to drive yet. He actually got up with me at 6:15 and took care of the dogs and me before the drive. I love having coffee with him first thing in the morning.

Last night he discovered that his right ankle was badly swollen. He has a rash that is being treated with hydrocortisone on the same leg. This morning the swelling is down, but we will be watching it. He was the one that discovered it. This is good because it means that he is watching his body for symptoms that might lead back to the staph infection. He is back in the early stages of dementia!!! Happy Dance!

Please keep praying for patients with dementia, their caregivers and families.

Return to posting

It has been over a month since my last post. DH is doing very well. He has been taking care of me since my surgery and doing a very good job of being a caregiver. I will be returning to work next Tuesday. It will be 5 weeks since my surgery.

We had a wonderful Christmas. Our daughter, son-in-law and grandson came over during the afternoon and we exchanged gifts. It was great to see them here. The dogs, Max and Roxie, were very interested in our grandson, who does not really trust big dogs. We will have to find the opportunity to make it easier for all.

My MIL is moving to our city the end of this month. She will be entering a nursing home. She has been refusing this for over four years. James has promised to visit her daily. This will keep both of them active. Initially we will go to church services in the NH weekly to get her involved with the other members. This will be good for all of us.

Please continue to pray for all dementia patients, their family and caregivers.